That was the first thing out of The Zen Baby's mouth this morning. At three, for the first time she really gets Hallowe'en. She knows that she gets to wear dress up clothes outside (actually not that big a deal, since she's worn her princess dress everywhere from the grocery store to the movies over the past month) and people will give her candy. And she strongly supports any holiday that involves dress up clothes and candy.

Me, I'm more ambivalent about it.

I'm still not over the thrill of my little TV appearance, so I just had to share my favorite souvenir. Here's a shot of me, Kim Coles and Bill Rancic, the hosts of In The Loop with iVillage.

I've been a Kim fan since she starred on Living Single and I've been a Bill fan since season one of The Apprentice, so it was a joy to meet them and pretty fascinating to watch them do their jobs!

My 72 year old aunt sent me this newspaper clipping. One of the women in her coffee clatsch emailed it to her. I don't know if it's for real but I think it needs no comment.

P.S. - I don't know what's more shocking: the fact that this woman is smoking and is still worried about the sound of those jackhammers on her unborn baby; or the fact that my elderly aunt's friend knows how to email....with attachments?! Who knew?!

As an insomniac fairly allergic to mornings, I feel positively vindicated by the results of a study recently conducted by researchers at Harvard and Mass General Hospital that say “morning blahs” are for real. (Heck, they could’ve just camped out in my kitchen, especially when my kids were younger and I gently shoved them onto the school bus in my robe and pre-Lasix glasses.)

Anyhoo, the study’s findings go on to suggest that seeing flowers in the AM might make morning-phobics like moi happier and more energetic. Okay, sounds like a plan. Tomorrow I’m pouring my high test caffeine into the biggest floral design mug I can find.

I decided that to celebrate the fact that the Scholastic Book Club is alive and well at Diva Girl's School, I'd write about what they sent to our house this month--in addition to a 44 lb box of books, I mean.

Bread is one of my all time favorite foods and I'm not alone in this either. It is one of the oldest prepared foods, dating back to the Neolithic era. So even cave women were suffering from the bulge. As a mom, I find we're eating more bread than ever and loving it! I resent the long time demonization of bread, back during the Atkins craze my joke was:

"You can't eat bread, bread crumbs, you can't even get a yeast infection on it."

I heard about a funny campaign called http://savethetoast.com. Check it out, it's hilarious.

Not that kind of new baby, silly. In spite of Regan's daily reminders that she would very much like a baby sister, this isn't some crazy internet way to announce that I'm pregnant (things haven't gone that far with Facebook Guy). So you can relax and keep reading, Dad.

Dear Mother Earth,

How are you? Well, actually, I hear you’re not doing too well and that you have a temperature. As for me? Well, I’m feeling kinda guilty. I think I’ve been neglecting you and, you know, taking you for granted. I just assumed that you’d always be there for me and never under the weather. Aren’t that what moms are for?

But now that I’m a little older and maybe even an itsy bit wiser, and with all the talk of going green everywhere I turn, I’ve been trying to turn over a new leaf and, as the media says, reduce my carbon footprint. As you know, we’ve been recycling chez moi for several years now, though I put my plastic bottles and aluminum cans in a verboten plastic bag before I put them inside the blue recycle bin we place at the curb (all the recyclables blow all over the street without it). And we’re really big into recycling newspapers, sending all of ‘em into The Hubby’s animal hospital to line the cages. But until recently, that was the extent of my efforts.

Did you see my friend Eden on Good Morning America this morning? She's the blogger who is suing Universal over misuse of copyright law after they had a video of her toddler dancing around the kitchen pulled earlier this year.

I love this story because it focuses on the way the new media explosion of the last decade has impacted our lives, and it puts a focus on artist vs consumer rights. Eden has never maintained that people should be allowed t steal the hard work of artists for their own profit; she just thinks the music industry needs to step back and allow people to actually enjoy their product. A lot of people would have just bitched about YouTube taking down the video--heck, I bet this has happed to a lot of people and that's exactly what's happened. Eden, however, is the bully's worth nightmare: the person willing to stand up and say, "I'm not afraid of you." And people--like Bill O'Reilly, The Washington Post, GMA, and now apparently Inside Edition are listening.

Go Eden! You rock!

Yesterday, in keeping with the Halloween spirit, I did something scary.

I went on live TV -- to talk about Halloween! I've never done a TV appearance before, and I went armed with all sorts of factoids, stats and anecdotes about last-minute costumes and Halloween safety and trick-or-treat tips. In the end, I learned that I didn't have to worry so much about telling the audience everything, because the segment turned into a rollicking good time with the help of hilarious host Kim Coles and a few adorable kids.

Kim went out of her way to make me feel welcome and comfortable -- and to keep the audience roaring with laughter as we introduced princesses, pirates (and a few brave adults!) all decked out for the holiday. Take a look!

Halloween is next week and Lily is so excited about it. She's a budding Diana Ross with all her costume changes too. So far, she's wanted to be a bunny, a pirate and her latest choice is a dragon. Yesterday, she insisted on wearing the costume to see if it fits properly. PS - The try-on session lasted two hours.

I'll let you know what she finally chooses next week. Who knows? Maybe we'll do half the day in one costume and half in another.

Come see comedy by mothers for everyone this weekend at the Emelin Theatre in Mamamoroneck, NY this Saturday, 10/27/08 at 8:00pm. You don't have to be a mom to enjoy the hilarious comedy of these three ladies. Each a finalist in Nick at Nite's Search for the Funniest Mom in America, they will leave you wanting more. Join Mama's Night Out soon for your night out!

You know you're a mama when you find yourself sneaking Halloween candy from your kids. Halloween isn't even here yet and I'm already hitting the stash I have been amassing for trick or treaters. You've heard of Starburst? Well now I've got butt burst. I'm looking forward to trick or treating. I can use the exercise. Did you know that they got rid of the Cookie Monster on Sesame Street because of his cookie binging! He didn't even eat them. He only crushed them. I think Halloween leads to more obesity in children (and mothers) than a puppet.

Pumpkins with eating disorders...today on Oprah.

To learn how to make this and several other easy, no sew costumes, check out my new article on Work It, Mom!

With the school year in high gear, can concert season be far behind? I remember school concert burnout well. Yes, of course I was tickled by and proud of my budding little performers. But after years of sitting on creaky auditorium chairs, I began to wonder how many more times I could sit through another command performance where one parent would invariably turn to me and say something like, “I know I am a bit prejudiced here, but don’t they sound really, really good?” without replying “No, they really, really do not.”

The low point of my parental performance career came when one of my budding music phenoms was to play in a third grade recorder concert. Not having gotten the hand of decoding the musical notes just yet, she cheerily informed me that she’d be faking (i.e. not actually playing) during the performance. As an uncomfortable partner in this command performance, I had to sit in the audience and listen to the collective screeching of the instruments and watch my musical prodigy just pretend to play.

The irony? Today she’s pursuing a musical career. Fortunately, the recorder is not her instrument.

Halloween's a week away, and it's entirely probable that you've got costumes on the brain right now. Since the baby years are probably the only chance you'll get to exert total control over your child's choices, enjoy those cute costume options while you can. Once your kid has ideas of his own, you might have some negotiating to do.
What costume did you buy or make this year? (One out of every five moms makes a costume.) Did your child's costume choice make you cringe? Did you have to invoke a parental veto this Halloween?
If you did, you're not alone. We found that 51% of parents let their children choose their own costumes -- but the parents ultimately have the final say. Six out of 10 parents say there are costumes they wouldn't let their children wear. And only one parent in 10 would allow their daughter to dress up as Britney Spears or Paris Hilton. Let's all be grateful to the other nine...

Every time I hit the brake pedal in my car about a dozen loose snacks and an unfinished bottle of water roll under it. In fact, if I'm ever hungry I just stop short. I'm starting to feel like that rat in the Skinner Box with the food bar. I really do try to keep the inside of my car clean. I say 'inside' with finger quotes because we live in NYC. I'm definitely not responsible for the homeless guy who occasionally pees on my tires and the garbage man lifting dripping bags of whatever over my windscreen.

File this under “tell us something we don’t already know”: Serious academic types just spent five whole years studying two-career households in three countries—the US, Spain, and Sweden—to determine that the old Ozzy and Harriet-style, circa 1950’s division of labor is alive and well.

This research revealed that (surprise, surprise) even though most women are now employed outside the home, couples still tend to default to the traditional gender roles, with women continuing to do the lioness' share of the laundry, cooking, and other household chores. In other words, not only are we bringing home the bacon, we’re still mircrowaving it, too.

A show of hands, please: who is actually surprised by these groundbreaking findings? (Note to The Hubby: Don’t Even Think Of It.)

No, really. Does anyone’s partner-of-the-male-persuasion do any gender-bending (i.e. not just manly taking-out-the-garbage kinds of stuff) household chores—or vice versa? I won't be jealous (much).

My love of the Scholastic company in general, and their book clubs in particular, is well documented as I've waxed poetic about this company both at dotmoms and Sanity and the Solo Mom over the years. I'm not usually a brand whore, choosing to go with the easiest and most economical choice rather than the one with the most ubiquitous marketing campaign when deciding how to flex my purchasing power, but I'll admit right here, I'm Scholastic's bitch.

Guest entry from Jennie Baird, Editor-in-Chief, iVillage.

"Imagine being destitute, orphaned and abandoned in a strange country at the age of seven and spending the next eight years of your life in foster care moving from home to home. When you’re finally adopted at age 15, what do you do?

On Thursday evening, I met a young Ethopian-born woman named Abazash, and this is her story. As a young adult adopted by an American family, she traveled back to Ethiopia and reconnected with a young cousin, a 12-year-old, HIV-positive orphan. The system in Ethiopia could provide nothing for this boy, with his age and HIV status two strikes against him.

Abezash made it her goal to find her cousin a home. She wound up renting a house and creating a home for her cousin and 17 other truly needy children. They live in a family-style environment in this home, attend school and receive medical care and support. The home is fully supported by the organization Abezash founded, Artists for Charity, which raises money primarily through the sale of artwork by its members. (In addition to supporting the home, Artists for Charity also conducts HIV/AIDS awareness and education programs.)

Spanx: What’s up these things anyway? First Oprah says she swears by ‘em and then, the other day, my friend Charlotte, a size 2 sopping wet, tells me she lives in them.

If you’re as clueless as I was, they’re like tummy control pantyhose, and they come in versions with and without feet. The feetless kind stop mid-calf. I get that: you can wear them under pants and longer skirts. But what’s the big deal about the kind with feet? And why are they better than plain old control top pantyhose?

Spanx fans: what gives?

Sorry about the blog neglect, but between juggling Girl Guides and dance class on the same night, an outing with Facebook Guy that I think might actually be a date, and the appearance of The Man I Didn't Marry on Facebook, I'm kinda toast.

Tune in next week when I...uh...juggle knives with my feet!

(There was supposed to be a cute snippet here of Regan doing the Hokey Pokey in class to use as filler, but I couldn't get it to load. Trust me, it was cute squared.)

When it comes to baby products, sometimes there's a fine line between functional and fussy, between fabulous and frivolous, between "How did I ever live without this?" and "What were they thinking?"
When this list of ridiculous products for babies circulated around the office, it elicited hoots from everybody, male and female, parents or not. Take a look -- and let's add to the list...
Some items that cross my desk just seem like more trouble than they're worth. When I saw this highchair food catcher, I didn't know what to make of it. Would I rather wipe baby's dinner droppings off of the floor or scrape them out of this bag? I'm sure it's a matter of personal preference but... well, what do you think?
And have you seen crazy products that you just, uh, can live without? Tell me about 'em. Drop it in a comment!

Just 13 shopping days remain before we celebrate the big gorge-fest also known as Halloween. Cheesy rubber pumpkin from Costco out on the front steps? Check. Plastic jack-o-lantern to hold the goodies unearthed from the depths of the basement? Also check. Treats purchased and stored in kitchen cabinets? Uh oh. You see, stocking up on Halloween candy is no simple task chez moi as witnessed by the following recent exchange between The Hubby and me:

ME: “(Blah, blah, blah…) And oh yeah, please do not even think of buying any candy that's remotely chocolate (i.e. too tempting to you-know-who to keep around the house) from Costco.”

HIM: “But what'll we give all the kids?”

Ever wonder why some moms just seem more maternal than others? Well, it looks like there may be a scientific reason for it. New research indicates that women who have higher levels of the hormone oxytocin in their systems during pregnancy, bonded more intensely with their babies after birth. They gazed, touched and spoke to their newborns with a really high level of attachment.
Until this study, only animals have proven how the hormone works, but now humans have confirmed why oxytocin has been called the hormone of "love and bonding"!

My neighborhood is delightfully just wall-to-wall Halloween decorations this year....again. The kids really enjoy them too, I love Halloween. But a friend of mine sent me this photo of a very creative fall display. Enjoy.

I actually paid a visit to Bed, Bath & The Way Beyond today. I've never been there before. I generally eschew stores that are based on 'linens and things' as home stuff tends to drive me mad and I'm generally not interested. I'm really more of a let's-just-steal-one-towel-from-the-hotel-at-a-time-so-they-don't-notice girl rather than make a special trip to a special store for them. The closest I get to BB&B is when my local bargain mart sells irregular Martha Stewart sheets.