Candy Crack (Corn)
Just 13 shopping days remain before we celebrate the big gorge-fest also known as Halloween. Cheesy rubber pumpkin from Costco out on the front steps? Check. Plastic jack-o-lantern to hold the goodies unearthed from the depths of the basement? Also check. Treats purchased and stored in kitchen cabinets? Uh oh. You see, stocking up on Halloween candy is no simple task chez moi as witnessed by the following recent exchange between The Hubby and me:
ME: “(Blah, blah, blah…) And oh yeah, please do not even think of buying any candy that's remotely chocolate (i.e. too tempting to you-know-who to keep around the house) from Costco.”
HIM: “But what'll we give all the kids?”
FREEZE FRAME: “All the kids” in our neck of the woods translates into The Hubby himself and something like five super-heroes, two pirates, one bunny (carried by a mom who exhorts her to “Choose just one”), and two itsy bitsy Britney Spears – hardly a horde of hungry trick-or-treaters. But invariably, The Hubby, an admitted chocoholic, stocks up with enough provisions (he favors the good stuff, too, like regular-sized—no mini for him—Twix and Three Musketeers and Nestle’s Crunch bars) to feed an entire grammar school full of kids jonesing a sugar high.
In fact, over the years, his purchasing of Halloween candy happens earlier and earlier and involves more and more quantities of The Good Stuff (the better to insure leftovers for you-know-who). So this year, I am taking back the holiday: the morning of the 31st, I’ll be throwing a couple of bags of the least tempting candy I can find into my shopping cart at the local supermarket. Waxy candy corn. Too-boring-for-words sugarless gum. Uninspiring Dum Dum lollipops. Sorry, Spidey. Don't hate us, Brit. At least we’re not handing out carrot sticks and bottled water. This year, anyway.
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Well I'll remember not to stop by your house then for my tricks or treats. But then, maybe that's your secret plan? Then you'll be stuck with the candy corn. No one likes to admit that they secretly like candy corn, do you?
I've been buying the lousy candy for years, to ensure that I'm not tempted myself. I guess that explains the shaving cream and broken eggs that always mysteriously appear around my house each Halloween.
I don't really think it matters is it is candy corn, Smarties or the good stuff. Leave an open bag of any of it around and I am on it like a fly on..... Isn't that what Halloween is all about? Gorging on sugar and then beating yourself up about it for the next three weeks even while you unwrap yet another Starburst and nestle it up against your sugar induced cold sore?
Well, I hear you Heather...and been there, done that! But funny thing: I've found through trial and error over the years that if I don't have The Good Stuff in my house, it doesn't end up in my mouth when I'm scrounging around the kitchen at 2 am. Maybe I'm in the minority, but Dum Dums just don't do it for me! Thanks for writing! Cheers, Laurie
Do what we do - we go to a friends house for a Halloween Party - kids run around, we get to be adults socialize and such...then we go trick-or-treating down one block (not 17) comne back with our bags of loot - give kids one piece (or two) then drive home. No candy at home - no urges from Mom to go sneak a snickers while watching "The Office" - great blog , glad I found it!
orientaltrading.com has great alternatives to candy for trick or treat