Should Spanking Your Child Be Illegal?
The issue of child discipline has popped into the news again, this time in the form of a bill, proposed by 61-year-old nurse Kathleen Wolf, that would make spanking illegal in Massachusetts.
The State Supreme Judicial Court ruled in 1999 that parents could spank their children, as long as it doesn't cause bodily harm. However, according to CBS, State legislator Jay Kaufman said the bill was less about spanking and more about when people cross the line and abuse their children.
For many parents, this brings up two issues: should the government get involved in the way people parent and should spanking be considered abuse?
The State Supreme Judicial Court ruled in 1999 that parents could spank their children, as long as it doesn't cause bodily harm. However, according to CBS, State legislator Jay Kaufman said the bill was less about spanking and more about when people cross the line and abuse their children.
For many parents, this brings up two issues: should the government get involved in the way people parent and should spanking be considered abuse?
On the Discipline Styles Debate message board, some iVillagers are against spanking as a form of discipline but do not see the law as necessary: “I am not really for spanking but I am a product of it. I am not advocating spanking or abuse and I do think the government should become involved in abuse cases but they should stay out of our lives until that point."
In January 2007, Assemblywoman Sally Lieber introduced a bill against spanking in California. The misdemeanor would have been punishable by up to a year in jail and a $1,000 fine. There's no word yet on what the consequence in Massachusetts would be, but in Sweden, one of the 19 countries that currently ban spanking, parents face jail time.
Other message board members see spanking as a better form of discipline than other ways of parenting. "I would much rather take my child over my knee and give her a swat on the butt than to yell at her. I feel that spanking, when done so not to embarrass but to correct bad behavior is much more beneficial than yelling or constantly telling no."
Not sure which side of the fence you fall on?
• Try one of these 10 alternatives to spanking
• Discover what form of discipline really works
• Get kids to listen with four easy steps
• Give yourself a discipline makeover
Is this law a good thing? Or is it unnecessary? Do you consider spanking to be abuse?
- Allison Busacca, Assistant Producer of Pregnancy and Parenting
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Spanking is not necessary. You can find many other ways to discipline your kids, like using Love and Logic. They have a great article on their site about spanking. Check it out: http://www.loveandlogic.com/pdfs/spank.pdf
Spanking should absolutely not be illegal. That crosses a line of how much the government can interfere in our private lives. I do not condone abuse and think we need to focus on abuse prevention, as an abuse survivor myself.
However, a case where a parent was charged with disciplining a child has already been struck down by the Massachusetts Supreme Court.
Who decides what's illegal in a "no spanking" situation? Is smacking a three year old's hand and saying "No!" when he reaches for a hot pot on the stove abuse? Is it against the law?
The bottom line is that parents have the right to raise their children as they see fit. This crosses a line.
How on earth do they intend to enforce such a law? That would be like legislating that I can't sit in any yellow chairs! Frankly, punishment for spanking (like spanking itself) is not the answer -- it is education, education, education. Only when -- on an emotional level -- we can internalize that words, not physical harm, are the key to changing behavior, will any problem stop. Our kids need to learn their lessons that way, we need to learn our lessons in those terms, and our leaders need to do the same thing. Violence, in any form, only begets more violence, and the bottom line is that the biggest -- or sneakiest -- guy always wins. That is certainly not the lesson I want my children to learn, and I have to work very hard at making sure that is the lesson I model. (And believe me, I think we all know how very hard it is!)
I love the whole feel-good attitudes people have when they talk about other ways to discipline a child. I think you need to use whatever works with a particular kid. Sometimes other ways work, but spanking is a very effective tool.
Spanking is the realm of the parents. It is NOT abuse, but an effective disciplinary tool. The government already sticks its nose in places where it doesn't belong (and thanks to a lot of people who thinks its THEIR business to tell their neighbors how to live who press the government to make new busybody laws).
There would be nothing like living in a society of undisciplined children where the parent's hands are tied behind their backs, and yet are held accountable for their children's actions.
I saw a little girl whine and cry when she didn't get her way and started hitting her father. I don't think they were a family that spanked, considering all they did was tell her "no, no, no" repeatedly. He set a very good example of how she could get away with things and still get what she wanted in the end, rather then learning there were undesirable consequences for her behavior and then she wouldn't get what she wanted in the end, too.
So here's the thing. I'm not going to get too technical about this, but I am going to say that my mother got Whoopins when she was a child, and I think she's a very decent person. She didn't want to raise my brothers and I that strictly with the spankings, but she did spank us. And we turned out pretty good also. I have a 5 year old daughter that will get a spanking if I feel she deserves it. Abuse and spanking are totally different and should not be catergorized together. I think trying to make spanking illegal is just rediculous.
This is infringing on personal rights. Definately do not need the government telling us what to do with our children!
Hmmm. The government should not be able to tell us what to do with our children? Tell that to the kids next door who are beaten black and blue every week. The law does and SHOULD have a place in protecting children from abuse. If you think otherwise, I pity your children.
There is a difference between abuse and spanking. Spanking does not leave bruises and is not used when it is not necessary. I agree that there are other forms of discipline that can and should be used. However, there are some children that need to be spanked. Besides, how is the government going to enforce it? Spanking is not to leave any visible marks. I was spanked as a child and always knew that I was loved. I was never beaten and black and blue. After a spanking (one swat on the butt), my mom always hugged me and told me why I needed a spanking. Child abuse is a horrible thing, but banning spanking is taking it one step too far.
I am all for spanking, not abusing, children. I am about to be a mother for the third time and while my children can be handfulls and they get noisy (they are still young), they know when they are doing the wrong thing. I don't spank for every little offense, that would be time-consuming considering their ages, only for the harmful ones.
I find with my children, and most other children, yelling only teaches them to yell. A single swat on the butt when necessary gets more attention from the child that this is something they should not do again. Beating a child is never the answer and there are people out there who take their anger out on their children but I am not one of those parents. If my children are doing something dangerous and I am upset because they could have seriously been hurt, I wait and take a few deep breaths before I spank them once, maybe twice. Then I explain to them why they got into trouble and what could have happened if Mommy hadn't been there.
What I have found effective is that I only had to do it once. Now I just look them in the eye and ask " Do you need a spanking?" They always say NO. Then I say "ok" . Then we move on.
I have 5 kids of my own and they know with they dont behave eithier out in public or at home mommy will take them somewhere priviet and spank there bare behinds
Disciplining your children should absolutely not be banned by the government. Discipline and abuse are not the same thing - I think that's where people are getting confused. The people who are against discipline probably have rarely, if ever, seen what true, and good, discipline looks like - they've only witnessed abuse. Discipline is a loving act by a concerned parent that is controlled (one or two light switches - enough to get attention) and deliberate followed by a gentle talk and a tender hug and kiss. It is a precious time of teaching and closeness. Abuse, on the other hand, is uncontrolled anger and lashing out, not in concern for the child's well-being and desire to prevent them from hurting themselves or others, but from the parent's annoyance, impatience and selfishness. Abusive parents hit and thrash without control, and are not seeking to instruct - only lash out. Discipline is good. Abuse is bad. They are not the same.
If they pass this law in Massachusetts, all good parents ought to move to another State where they still have their freedoms.