Two things I truly hate about new years is all the hype and all the lists like the Best Of 2007. The only thing worse than living with all the media coverage of celebrity screw ups, divorces and boring minutiae about their daily lives is reliving them all in one day. I mean really, hearing about how your friend married the wrong guy, started drinking, shaved her head and then lost her kids sounds like the woman down the street from me not a celebrity. Bring back the untouchables like Princess Grace of Monaco. Okay, so she was schtuping her footman. Who cares? Actually, I do. The media can report about that.

I wish to abjure the culture of inconsequence from now on....not just in 2008. There's my new years resolution.

Now that Lily is officially 5 she's feeling her oats....but not eating them. She used to be such a great eater but now she snubs her nose at even her old favorites like lasagne and says things like,"Ooh that looks dithguthting (heavy on the lisp)" and/or "I'll only eat two bites and then I'll be excused". Lily treats every meal now like a hostage situation.....she's always ready to negotiate. Who is this person at my table? Is it Lily or Lindsay Lohan in front of the judge?....any judge.

Above is a happy reminder of days gone by: my friends' baby, Cheston aged 15 months, wearing his pasta. I don't know if you can tell from this photo but he has sauce in his ears. I took this photo the same night Lily told me that lasagne is groth!!

Greetings from sunny Florida, where our clan has convened for X-Mas break. I haven’t forgotten you all! But Internet service from our vacation digs has been spotty at best. Also knocking me out of commission? A wicked cold (on the plus side: I did successfully score some Sudafed down here) and a jet ski mishap (everyone is fine, thank goodness, and the local ER had plenty of Law & Order reruns to keep our crew occupied, but we'll be sticking to kayaks from now on). But aside from those blips, my vacay has been really relaxing and fun.

So, just wanted to send a shout out to everyone while the AOL gods are feeling generous. Hope your X-Mas was extra merry and your holidays are happy—and here’s to a really great ’08!

xxx, Laurie

You’ve made your list and you’ve checked it twice. You’ve gone on-line and stood in line to score the perfect presents for your kids, mother-in-law, babysitter, and schoolbus driver. But have you forgotten someone, say, that loyal and oh-so-adorable furry, feathered, or finned family member?

According to the American Pet Products Manufacturers Association, 56 percent of dog owners (including you-know-who), close to 50 percent of cat owners, and 27 percent of bird owners, purchase X-Mas presents for their pets. (And while we don’t give our canine kids cashmere sweaters or educational toys (SAT flash cards, perchance?), two of the popular presents cited in this study, we do gift ‘em with big barbeque sauce-covered bones, doggie treats, lots of squeak toys, and extra walks and car rides.)

So, does Santa bring anything for your special family members? If so, what will Fido and Fluffy be finding under your tree? Whatever it is—or isn't—hope your holiday's extra-merry!

The Funny Mom Family Dec. 2007
(Don't you just love holiday photos of children and families with the wintery backgrounds?! It's like what are these people doing out in Central Park in December without their coats on?!)

It's two days till Christmas. You're probably busy stressing over unwrapped presents, trying to fit in time to run out and buy something for that someone you forgot, or like me doing last minute baking. It's easy to lose perspective on the holidays when you're a woman...in particular a mom....because we have so much work to do!!

I love all the freedom we have now women: we're free to raise the children and work. I wish I had more time and energy for all this freedom. I think women's liberation was a male conspiracy: Susan B. Anthony was really Anthony B. Susan.

My car is developing an auto-inferiority complex from being constantly squeezed between hulking behemoths in the parking lots of our little corner of suburbia. Which leads me to ask: am I the only one still driving a regular-sized (e.g. not a SUV, mini-van, or maxi-sized four-wheel-drive) vehicle these days?

Okay. You have three or more kids, and each of those kids has friends and sporting equipment and band instruments. I get that, especially in the carpool-intense younger years. Or you live in a snowy region with lots of hills. But what’s with all the rest of the drivers out here in picket fence-land? Do they really need to drive that humongous Hummer to pick up a measly old carton of milk from the supermarket? And just how much off-roading does one do on the way to the mall, anyway?

While it’s true that my regular-sized vehicle may be overshadowed on the roads and in the parking lots, there is one place it does stand head-and-shoulders above the transportation-on-steroids crowd. And that would be? The gas pump.

I can't live without my weekly dose of Project Runway, so you can imagine how excited I was the day Laura Bennett came to visit the iVillage offices. She's a modern mom juggling marriage, six kids and an incredible career as a fashion designer. We just had to find out how she does it all -- and we had to share her secrets with you. So each month, Laura will apppear in Laura Bennett: Case Clothed, as a colorful crusader for all style-conscious moms. She's on hand every month (and just in time for those holiday parties) to help you turn your fashion basics into a fashion statement. Read the comic strip (illustrated by another Project Runway alum, Robert Best!) — and send your style dilemmas to Laura! This month, enjoy "The Case of the Party Primping Predicament."

"When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box.
I was an only child...eventually."
-- Steven Wright

Robin Williams, Natalie Portman, Franklin Roosevelt, Alan Greenspan, Frank Sinatra and Cary Grant are just a few of the famous only children .

Recently, I posted that we're in the process of adopting and we're still trying to have another one the old fashioned way....E Bay....just kidding. Some of my readers have been asking me why at this stage of our lives (we're in our late 30's and my career involves a lot of travel but only on weekends) are we trying to add more stress to our family via another child.

We're sure you’ve all heard the news by now: 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears, younger sister of Britney Spears, is pregnant. Jamie Lynn, the star of Nickelodeon's "Zoey 101", said she plans to raise the baby at home in Louisiana—"so it can have a normal family life."

Coincidently, according to People.com, Lynne Spears's book about raising her famous daughters Britney and Jamie Lynn has been put on hold. Publishers Marketplace describes the book as "Lynne Spears's personal story of raising high-profile children while coming from a low-profile Louisiana community." The book was set to be published in spring 2008.

When I think back on all the times when I was younger (much younger) that I was 'late' and I prayed to the dear lord above (the only time I prayed.....no wait I'm wrong, I also prayed that my mother wouldn't be able to tell that I was stoned) to 'make it go away' I laugh. If I only knew then what I know now (I'd probably make the same mistakes). I wasn't fast and loose like some of the girls but I did exercise some pretty poor judgement when it came to men or should I say boys. My mother always used to say if you have sex with boys they'll never call....well my phone never stopped ringing.

Forget the heavy-duty decisions and delicate give-and-take that goes on in inter-faith families this time of year (what, how, and with whom to celebrate, for example). The hubby and I face our own December dilemma: the Office X-Mas Party Problem, or, “Who goes to whose and with what amount of grumbling?” The company I work for solves the problem pretty neatly. Except for one fancy (non-holiday) dinner a few years ago, parties are employee-only affairs. The hubby’s office, however, extends invites to spouses and significant others.

Let me get this out there before I go any further in alienating my husband or/his officemates: I genuinely like the people he works with—or the ones I know, that is. They seem interesting, hardworking, and pleasant to be around. So why do I hem and haw about attending their annual holiday shindig? Like any group of office pals, including mine, when they all come together, talk inevitably revolves around intra-office issues and intrigue about which I know nada.

This law-abiding suburban mom scored some drugs yesterday. No, I didn’t cruise shadowy downtown streets in sketchy neighborhoods looking for a quick fix of crack cocaine. I bought Sudafed.

Yep, you read that right. The over-the-counter antihistamine, my drug-of-choice for cold and sinus issues, is now considered a kind of pharmaceutical contraband. Ironically, I had actually tuned into a “Law & Order” rerun the night before whose plot line hinged on this very phenomenon; unsavory types of characters were buying the little red cold pills, grinding them up, and cooking them into a potent narcotic mix.

I do vaguely remember hearing something about the new Sudafed rules awhile back, but I still saw—and bought—the medicine that was out on the pharmacy and supermarket shelves. Only after taking it and not getting my usual relief did a pharmacist clue me in: the version openly displayed for sale was a new formula (henceforth referred to as The Fake Sudafed) missing the ingredients that made it so attractive to druggies and, incidentally, me (i.e. the stuff that made it work). The Real Sudafed, the original formula that actually worked, was now kept behind the counter, and under the new regulations, you could only buy three boxes of it within a certain time frame, and then only after showing a picture ID and signing an official form.

Take a look at this segment from the Today Show. Priscilla Dunstan, a mom from Australia, says she has discovered the meaning behind a baby's unique cries. Click below to watch the video:

What does your baby's cry really mean?

So, what do you think? Can you tell what your baby needs by his or her unique cries?

Here's Lily looking like she was just taken hostage by Al Qaeda.

Santa's all good in theory but when it comes to actually sitting on his lap for a holiday snapshot that's when many kids draw the line. I wasn't sure what to expect as far as her reaction to Santa Claus this year because even though Lily's one year older, she still talks about him like he's a stalker: "He sees you when you're sleeping?!" She often asks in horror.

Then other times she'll confidently boast: "He'll bring me lots of presents because I've been so good this year!" Yet, when I placed her on his lap for this photo she went all Post Traumatic Stress Disorder on me: she went limp and started looking away as if she wasn't even there. The poor man was very disappointed (look at his face) because as she approached he said in a kindly voice, "Look at this little blonde cutie! Ho, ho, ho what do you want for Christmas pretty girl?"

To which she replied, "Mama, just take the picture please."

My mother reports that when I was five she took me for my official photo with Santa, which was hard enough because she's Jewish, (she was appeasing my Catholic father) she said I started crying and whimpered, "But he's wearing glasses, he's not the real Santa, we should just go home." I said anything to get away from that man.

How do your kids react to Santa? Share with us your stories.

Quick Quiz:

• Does your child normally get all As and Bs?
• Does your child have good behavior?
• Does your child have two or less absences in school?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions (and you live in Florida) your child could receive a coupon for a free Happy Meal.

According to the Orlando Sentinel, recent school report cards in Seminole County have a promotion from McDonald's restaurants printed on the side, encouraging kids to get free fast food as a reward for good grades. (see image below)

Here’s to gal pal power! Last week around this time, I was taking a road trip up to beautiful Vermont: home of Ben & Jerry’s and my friend Carrie’s ski house. It was a quick overnight jaunt to celebrate her special birthday—but she was giving us, eight of her nearest and dearest, the present: an all-girls getaway. No schedules, no schlepping kids around, no e-mail or even cell phone reception. Just lots of time hanging out, laughing, cooking, imbibing, shopping, and enjoying plenty of chick chat.

It was a blast. Yes, it was tough to clear everyone’s calendars and off-load the hands-on parenting thing, but it was SO worth it. Though I only knew a few of the other women well, it was an instant-bonding experience. There’s nothing like coming into a freezing log cabin-style house, doing a dead mouse check, and then tramping out into unspoiled snow to gather firewood for the wood-burning stove to bring a group together. Think Suburban Moms Survivor, or, “Can a group of women used to clicking on the thermostat not suffer frostbite out in the woods?”

When I heard about the study that suggests students who have "C" or "D" as an initial have lower GPAs than students who have "A" or "B" as an initial, well, I just had to disagree -- and send a shout-out to all of the sensational C's and divine D's out there.

What do you think -- do initials dictate destiny?

--Diane

It's that time of the year again my friends. Time to tip your garbageman, your mail carrier (happy broke holidays) and all the other people who do things for us every day that we take for granted and most importantly, to take care of the people who take care of the people that matter most to us - our children.

I do remember the days when we made our teachers a special holiday card with crayons and my mother gave them a $5 bottle of Skin So Soft from Avon and everyone was happy but those days don't exist anymore.

Lily is in an Inclusion class. That means there are two teachers and two paras. That means four presents to buy for the holidays. So I offered to organize a class present for Lily's teachers because it is so much easier to give a collective gift certificate than to shop for four people. I also love giving gift certificates to the mall because than the giftee can buy what they want not what I think they might like. Cash is king.

I've written a post on this before but I have to ask the question again: Where do these people find the time for this?! I haven't even finished sending out my cards (honestly, I haven't even started yet). I compare this to trying to clean up the house for company....I just don't have the energy and I just don't care anymore. You don't like my messy house?! This is who we are take us or leave us. This is how you find out who your real friends are: real friends will sit amongst your mess and not even blink an eye; the posers will make excuses about the kids being tired and leave.

People come from miles around to gawk at this house in our Brooklyn neighborhood. It is truly a magnificent holiday display - if you're into that kind of thing. It boasts several stories of Christmas themes replete with twirling harlequins, Disney characters and of course a nativity or as we like to call it around here - the famous baby show.

These people also pump round-the-clock Christmas music late into the night. It's no wonder the house next door is now sporting a for sale sign. PS - I took a closer look at that house and on the front door is a Mezuzah. They must love their Christmas crazy neighors.

Click here for more pix......

Looking for an antidote to the bleached-girls-gone-wild antics of Brit, Lindsay, and Paris that’s not too cloyingly saccharine? Get thee and your daughter (and your BFF, mom, and/or gal pals) to Legally Blonde, The Musical. The message—it’s cool to be smart, and with enough grit, hard work, and determination, you can be whatever you want to be—is positively tailored-made for this generation of ‘tween girls who've been subjected to a barrage of media coverage of truly gag-inducing “role models” practically since forever.

I recently caught a performance of LB with a couple of friends. And while my expectations were modest—even though I loved the movie—I was (happily) proven wrong. Like the LB franchise shows, you just can’t judge a book—or a blonde—by its cover. So now that Broadway is once again alive and kicking, tix to the show would make a perfect holiday gift. (And if you’re not planning a trip to the Big Apple in the next few weeks or can’t get seats during the holidays, you can always buy and wrap tix for another date, and rent the DVD to give your gift recipient a preview of what’s to come.)

You know what one of the absolute coolest thing about writing Sanity and the Solo Mom has been? I mean besides meeting Kate and Jenny, and Mav, and Kira, and Jen, and you, and you, and you.....And aside from going to BlogHer, which was just lifealteringly awesome. And aside from that big box of books from Scholastic, which was my Christmas and my birthday and every good thing all rolled into one....And can't forget the opportunity to talk to literally thousands of people and know that they cared about me like one of their favourite soap opera characters or possibly the heroine in some sort of interactive novel. That's been pretty cool too. But I have to say, I get a special thrill when writers track me down and ask me to review their books.

Yup, it’s that most wonderful time of the year—for someone else, unlike moi, who is not allergic to shopping. (Have I mentioned recently how much I hate shopping? Yet, I like having the stuff, just not the actual getting of it. It’s a conundrum.) Some people, I am told, get high on the buzz in stores this time of year; the hustle and the bustle gets ‘em into the spirit. I, on the other hand, go on sensory overload.

But the other day I had to break down and venture into a department store to buy a spangly top to wear with black satin pants to an upcoming holiday party. I actually found a few great-looking alternatives pretty quickly. But when I went to try on one cool strapless silver sequins number (no zipper, just over the head), I got stuck, thanks to the phenomenon known as size purgatory (the medium was too big, the small too little, hence my Winnie the Pooh stuck-in-the-honey-pot smooth move). I literally had to call the salesperson to help free me and “my girls” (I heard someone refer to them that way on Oprah and couldn’t wait to use it in print!).

No, I'm not the new star of COPS but I'm still going to be on Court TV tonight. (Why are all those people always shirtless when they're arrested?) Just in case you find yourself still awake tonight at 9:00pm and actually with a free moment, tune in to Court TV at 9:00PM EST to see your dear old Funny Mom. Despite my accent, you won't catch me hawking any wonder mops on an infomerical nor upbraiding a family for not having a naughty chair. I'll be appearing on SHOPPING TO EXTREMES (shot before the current writers strike).

SHOPPING TO EXTREMES examines the madness of the holiday shopping frenzy with real footage of psychotic shoppers trampling each other, strollers, and fist fighting all in the name of bargains. It's the fall of Rome people. Watch as cameras catch totally insane moments at shopping malls, high-end department stores and specialty shops as people claw, scratch and fight their way through the crowds to get the hot items they need for the holidays. We've all heard those stories of people being trampled for a $300 laptop. It's very disturbing yet riveting.

This was shot like one of those VH-1 Best Week Ever episodes complete with featured comedians making snarky remarks - that's where I come in. Hopefully, they used my good jokes.

Mothers and stress seems to be an unavoidable combination. Either you're stressing about your kids, stressing about the having kids, or stressing about being stressed out. And while this news may momentarily cause you more stress, remember, we have tips to make it easier.

An MSNBC article linked a mother’s stress level while pregnant to the baby’s weight at birth and the baby’s mental well-being later in life.

According to the study, published in the December issue of Biological Psychiatry, when a pregnant woman becomes stressed, she passes fewer nutrients to the fetus and gives birth to a smaller baby. The less a baby weighs, the more likely he or she is to have depression and anxiety later in life. So mothers of chubby babies rejoice! Your babies are more likely to be happy later in life.

• Keep your pregnancy fit and fabulous with this simple plan
• Lower your stress level by taking time for yourself

The study also found that babies who reach developmental milestones, like standing and walking for the first time, later in life are more likely to have poor mental health.

• It's never too late to improve your child’s development. Learn how with the Development Tracker

Similarly, a New York Times article highlights that as stress continues into full-fledged motherhood, being a type-A, Alpha Mom could out you at a greater risk for mental distress.

I hate being mean mommy but today I earned that badge of distinction. Lily had a friend over for a play date. Normally, I love her friend Kate but today was a different story.

Kate is recovering from a cold and you know how that goes: she was well enough to play but still cranky and difficult. I told her mum that maybe she (Kate) needed to go home and rest because she didn't appear to be enjoying herself. (When I feel sick I like to relax too.) She reassured me that Kate was fine and that she had missed Lily so much and was so looking forward to the play date that she didn't want to take her home yet.

Well, Kate continued to scream "NO!" at her mum and Lily every chance she got and proceeded to throw every toy/thing she could get her hands on on the floor. The living room was officially renamed ground zero. The poor kid looked frazzled. By 4:30 I had had enough of the tantrums and so had Lily who had formally relinquished herself to the confines of her bedroom. Lily literally announced to us that she was going to her room to take a nap! What?! It must of have been bad 'cause Lily hasn't taken a nap since she was 15 months old.