Mean Mommy
I hate being mean mommy but today I earned that badge of distinction. Lily had a friend over for a play date. Normally, I love her friend Kate but today was a different story.
Kate is recovering from a cold and you know how that goes: she was well enough to play but still cranky and difficult. I told her mum that maybe she (Kate) needed to go home and rest because she didn't appear to be enjoying herself. (When I feel sick I like to relax too.) She reassured me that Kate was fine and that she had missed Lily so much and was so looking forward to the play date that she didn't want to take her home yet.
Well, Kate continued to scream "NO!" at her mum and Lily every chance she got and proceeded to throw every toy/thing she could get her hands on on the floor. The living room was officially renamed ground zero. The poor kid looked frazzled. By 4:30 I had had enough of the tantrums and so had Lily who had formally relinquished herself to the confines of her bedroom. Lily literally announced to us that she was going to her room to take a nap! What?! It must of have been bad 'cause Lily hasn't taken a nap since she was 15 months old.
At 4:30, I ended the play date an hour short. I said, "I know Kate is recovering and is still a bit cranky, I totally understand but they're not even interracting anymore (I kept the oweness off of Kate). I think it's best if we continue this play date another day, how about Thursday?"
With that Kate's mom threw down the gauntlet - she put Kate in time out!
"No, no," I said. "I didn't mean for you to discipline her, I just think she needs to go home. I love her I just think she needs a lie down." I was scrambling, I felt badly (I was a stammering fool) and now poor Kate was whimpering in a corner...."for two minutes god d*mn it!" That was her mother not me.
"I don't need you to tell me when to discipline my child," she stated very cooly.
"Oh goodness you misunderstand and I know that's easy with me as I'm an idiot," I tried in vain to explain myself, to smooth over the situation, whatever. I was grasping at straws.
Kate's mom took Kate by the hand and said, "We have to leave now because Lily's mom wants us to. She doesn't understand how disappointed and sad you will be when we get home...[pause for effect].....because she's a [drum roll please]....mean mommy."
Well, there you have it folks. I'm a mean mommy....leaving adults and children cowering from my wrath.
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Some parents just don't get how and when to disciplin. I have a friend who has a whiny controling two year old. I've been telling her she's gonna have to get a handle on her daughter before she gets big enough to really do damage. She hits and pushes my children and refuses to share, even if she's in my home with my children. Recently her daughters daycare told her that her daughter is being violent with other kids. She finally see's the light but it will take awhile for her to find her own personal style and take back the control she's given to her daughter. Old habits die hard. Some people need to hear whats apropriate(and not) because they haven't been able to do it on their own. i hope your daughter can still comfortably remain friends with this little girl.
Sounds like another awkward afternoon. WElcome to parenthood.
Sherry, I think you were more than fair to this mom (I know, you're shocked. So am I! ;). You did nothing wrong in this situation and frankly, that other mom was a jerk--both for subjecting you and Lily AND Kate to the playdate from hell, and then for being so incredibly rude and ungracious to you.
I hope you have Kate over to play again when she's feeling better, but I don't think anyone would blame you for excluding mom from the invite.
Ugh. What a nightmare. I have a friend who is the nicest person in the world, but I can't stand her son and neither can my son. He always throws tantrum, whines, etc. They stop interacting about 5 minutes into a playdate. I really like the mom, though. It's tough.
I can sympathize with your play date disaster. The mother needs to get a clue- she isn't being a great role model for her daughter- all she is doing is reinforcing the bad behavior!!
Oh, that's good. Teach a child to badmouth people, let alone right in front of them!
Who does that? Her daughter was having a bad day and you are the mean mommy? She's raising a "Mean Girl"
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