It’s true: I am intensely curious about other people—that’s why journalism is a perfect fit for me. I actually get paid to ask lots and lots of questions and hear some pretty fascinating answers in my daytime gig as a writer/editor for Westchester Magazine. Some would call my insatiable curiosity just plain old being nosey, but I like to think of it as plying my trade, you know, investigative reporting. I’ve found that airports are particularly fertile ground for indulging this interest of mine. And I promise that I wasn’t eavesdropping per se, when I was in one the other day and a woman walked by me and said the following to her traveling companion:

“I would’ve preferred her to go to medical school, but…”

And then, to my immense frustration, she just kept on walking right out of range, leaving this inquiring mind dangling. Okay, but what, lady? So what exactly is your daughter doing that you would’ve preferred she not be? Dealing drugs? Turning tricks? Selling state secrets? ‘Cause here’s my thinking on this: Whatever this woman’s precious progeny was doing instead of going to med school and becoming “her daughter, the doctor,” there were probably a whole heck of a lot more unsavory alternatives she could have been pursuing.

My feeling? Your kids’ lives belong to (wait for it…) your kids. You guide them as best you can, give advice if they ask for it or will let you, and then stand back, hoping you’ve given them the tools and values and experiences to allow them make good decisions for themselves. And then be thankful that they are—hopefully—not doing anything illegal or dangerous to themselves or others. Sure, going to med school, becoming a teacher, or going into the family business all sound great—but your dreams for your kids aren’t necessarily their dreams for themselves.

You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you might actually get what you might need: a wake-up call that you can't live through or for those younger people who share your address, last name, and/or DNA—no matter how many of their diapers you've changed. Besides, if they're old enough to go to med school, they're old enough to clean up any of their own messes.