March 2008 Archives
I've often wondered what people in the porn industry and soldiers for hire do for the annual Take Your Children To Work Day. Apparently, a young woman in Greenville, S.C. brought her infant along to an armed robbery. Just in time for the annual April event, criminals are getting in on the action. I guess her sitter cancelled at the last minute. Don't you hate it when that happens? And with the rising cost of daycare I guess people really do have to rob a bank to afford it. To quote one of my favorite bands when I was an undergrad, REM, it's the end of the world as we know it.
Investigators said that they initially thought that 20-year-old Sarah Titi Walker was the victim of a kidnapping that happened last week in connection with an armed robbery. They said Walker went into the store with the baby, and moments later, a man came in and pulled a gun on the clerk. He demanded money and after he got the cash, he pretended to kidnap Walker and the baby. Investigators said they later learned that the armed man was Walker's boyfriend. [Can you say co-dependent?] Sounds like a very toxic relationship. Dr. Phil would have a field day with this one. I could just see the rehearsals for this scam. Deputies said the couple had set it all up so they could make a quick getaway after the robbery.
Lovely. I don't even know where to begin with this one. Fortunately, the baby (and no one else) was injured. Happy Monday people. Got any great news stories for us?? Do share.
We have a friend who's 5 year old son is autistic. We've been hearing different theories for years about the causes of autism in particular and most recently the MMR vaccine. Is there really a link between the two? The CDC says no. Many researchers say yes, but this has happened before. Look at the prescription drug Viox. That was the largest drug recall in U.S. history. A pill that was meant to reduce inflammation and swelling actually increased one's chances for heart attack or stroke twofold. Ooops.
I think more attention would be given to the subject of autism if somehow it could be linked to Viagra. 'Cause god forbid that drug was recalled men would be rioting in the streets.....for their friends of course...."It's not for me aaaahhh my friend Joe has a problem." Then you'd see some real action in the laboratory.
What do you think? I'm curious to know.
For most parents, the safety and well-being of their children is absolutely paramount. They will spend any amount of money necessary and do anything and everything humanly possible to protect their kids. Which is why the recent and tragic deaths of two young girls have struck such a nerve with so many moms and dads.
In
But many parents in the iVillage community have already drawn their own conclusions, arguing fervently that Madeline’s parents failed in their most important duty as parents—protecting their child. They failed, and Madeline paid the price. Member lilpeanut2007 writes: “It is one thing for parents to choose prayer over medicine for themselves, but I do not believe they have the right to subject their child to the same belief system. She depended on them to take care of her and they did not do that. It is negligent, and I do believe they should be charged accordingly.” Member mommydesire62777 agrees that Madeline’s parents should be held accountable and feels especially strong about the sentence they deserve: “I hope they get charged with murder!”
I checked out the Miss Bimbo Virtual Fashion Game today after attending a luncheon for a very dignified female icon in the world of black and white print media: the still gorgeous and glamorous at 85 Liz Smith. The luncheon was held at the Friars Club in New York City and there were many accomplished, educated, funny, non bimbos in attendance.
All the ladies at our table were buzzing about the aforementioned site. We were all pretty much in agreement that it puts the whore in horrendous. Sadly, we are neither surprised nor shocked by it's existence. We're female comedians for gods sake - we've been commenting on misogyny for years - and making a living at it.
We're counting on Hillary to make a comment on the site. The world needs to hear from the apotheosis of non bimbos on this one. And I can't wait to hear what she has to say. God knows this poor woman has had her fill of bimbos over the years. I'm sure she was the first phone call Mrs. Spitzer made last week. Forget all the nastiness and back biting associated with endless campaigning Hillary. (She and Barack are now misspeaking and just plain saying things that aren't true because they're bloody exhausted already. You can see the fatigue writ large their faces.) And what's more, the American public seems to be growing weary of the campaign already. Let's get back to the real issues: ending the war; educating our children; taking care of our economy; feeding the poor; raising non bimbos. Come on now girlfriend. We need you more than ever Hillary.
There’s a new online
game in town, and it isn’t pretty. The
virtual fashion game, called “Miss Bimbo,” is aimed at girls between the
ages of 7 and 17. The game’s Web site explains that players compete against one
another to become the “hottest, coolest, most fabulous bimbo in the whole
world.” But according to the male web
designer who created it, the game actually teaches girls how to take care of
their bimbos. That’s a hard sell, especially when players are encouraged to get
plastic surgery and diet pills for their bimbos. Of course becoming the most
fabulous bimbo in the world isn’t cheap; that’s why successful players seek out
wealthy virtual boyfriends.
Unsurprisingly, many
parents, like member mrst_plus_nute,
are outraged: “UGH! I hate garbage like this! As if there isn't
enough pressure on women to conform to an already unattainable social image.
How are young women ever going to learn to be functioning, contributing members
of society if their lives are dedicated to trying to reach some imaginary image
of perfection?”
Member countrygoddess2008 is also upset and believes the stereotypes perpetuated by the game contribute to the explosion of eating disorders among girls and young women: “This is the exact reason that women develop eating disorders … I’m hoping to raise my kids to realize that as long as you are healthy it doesn't matter what size you are. Our society is vain.”
We took Lily and her five year old friend, Daniel, to see Horton Hears A Who? last Saturday. They loved it. My husband slept through it but I couldn't get comfortable enough to sleep. It was actually quite good but I'm just so burned on kids entertainment that I was ready to drink the Kool-Aid after only 12 minutes. Between the Teletubbies, Elmo In Grouchland and Chicken Run, I'm done. Remember, I work from home so I've been tortured by this stuff for five long years. Some of you out there are like, "But Carol Burnett's voice is featured in it!" Yeah, yeah. So what.
The best part of the film was when it was long over. Daniel was eating dinner at our house and he announced to us, "Lily and I went to a movie, now we're having dinner together, is today kind of like a date for Lily and I?"
Priceless.
What kids' movie or TV show have you been tortured by recently?
Now time out for a little shameless offspring-promotion here.
Live in the NY-metro area and looking for a great live theater experience for kids three and up—but don’t want to watch your little ones squirm through a couple of hours of high-priced entertainment? Check out a professional production of the original children's musical “THE BUTTONHOLE BANDIT: AN INTERGALACTIC MUSICAL FANTASY” at NYC’s Looking Glass Theatre, 422 West 57th Street (between 9th and 10th Avenues). It's creative, inexpensive, and just one delightful hour of pure fun.
And while you’re at it? Catch a rising professional singer/actress, my daughter Nikki Yarnell, making her New York City stage debut as Brellaya the mermaid.
Performances are on: Saturday, March 29th @ 12 and 2PM; Sunday, March 30th @ 2 and 4PM; Saturday, April 5th @ 12 and 2PM; Sunday, April 6th @ 2 and 4PM. Tickets are available at the door or through or Ovation Tix: https://www.ovationtix.com/trs/cal/881 or by calling Ovation Tix at (866) 811-4111. Use the promotional code “spacebandit” for $12 adult tickets.
Hope to see you there! If you do come by, identify yourself as a Daily Mom reader to receive a special mermaid autograph and hug for your little theater-goers! Cheers from this (reluctant but proud) stage mom
Once upon a time, there was a married couple. They were going through a rough patch in their relationship. He fooled around. And she fooled around. But they worked it out and went on to live happily ever after.
The above tale would be pretty unremarkable except that it was shared at a press conference held the day after that husband was sworn in as governor of New York. And that the vacancy he was filling came about because the previous occupant had fooled around on his wife—and ended up paying dearly for the pleasure.
I get what Governor Paterson was doing—and actually don’t disagree with his strategy of airing out one’s own dirty laundry before someone else has a chance to. It’s just…do we need or want to know the specifics of every public figure’s sex life? Personally, I really don’t care what anyone’s doing behind closed doors, whether their last name is Spitzer or Paterson or Spears. It’s all, Too Much Information. Pretty please, can we stop the public confessions now?
Stop the presses. As of this very moment, my daughter and I are actually in agreement about something—that In the Heights, the new Broadway show we saw the other night, is fantastic. This phenomenon happens about every millennium or so, so if I were you, I’d order tickets and start planning a visit to the Big Apple NOW.
After a smashing Off-Broadway run, In the Heights opened on Broadway on March 9—and continues to attract
unbelievable buzz from audiences and critics alike. Called the new Rent, it’s a joyful and at times poignant look at life in
the vibrant Latino neighborhood of Washington Heights in New York City. We
laughed, we cried (okay, I
cried), and we were blown away by its music and choreography. Kudos to
20-something Lin-Manuel Miranda, who conceived, wrote the music and lyrics for,
and stars in the show—it actually
grew out of a project he started working on his sophomore year in college. Now that was time and tuition was well spent!
Between former Governor Elliot Spitzer and that senator playing footsie in a Minnesota airport, you gotta admit: politicians take a lot of stupid sexual risks. I think this has been the busiest week ever for political sexual antics. Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the internet, there's yet another sexual confession by a New York Governor: the new, blind (I said blind!) Governor Patterson admitted to having several affairs! I didn't see that one coming. Ha Ha. Oh stop being so sensitive. I'm a comic, I'm entitled.
Am I the only married person not having affairs? Maybe if Lily was a better sleeper I'd enough energy for an affair but I just don't. I don't even have enough time and energy for the gym forget a real Jim. Even the blind are having affairs. I'm starting to feel left out.
But the Strangest Sexual Political Confession This Week Award goes to former New Jersey Governor McGreevey: his now ex wife says she participated in a threesome with him. The third person was a male aide.....and she said she didn't know he was gay! Give it a rest! I guess politics does make strange bed fellows. But yuck! Why is this story in the news?! Enough. I'd much rather hear about our soldiers in Iraq.
The only sexually explicit story about a politician having an affair that I'd like to hear is: that Hillary had one. I think most people would be like 'good for her'. Seriously, I hope I never see that headline.
Whew! I guess Heather Mills is one single mom who won’t have to worry about putting fish and chips on the table. Now that’s a relief. Turns out the ex-wife of Beatle Paul McCartney walked away yesterday with a cool $48.6 million (I can’t even attempt to write that out in decimals; too many zeros) court-ordered divorce settlement—plus an additional $70,000 annually to help support the couple’s four-year-old daughter Beatrice.
Mills, who had initially asked for a whopping $250 million, was happy yet still a bit miffed, complaining that the paltry amount of the settlement would mean than little Beatrice would have to “travel B class when her father travels A class.” It’s widely acknowledged that the living standard of newly-divorced women and their kids can drop dramatically, while that of their ex-spouse actually rises. But somehow, I don’t think this scenario qualifies.
In fact, it’s been calculated that Mills walked away with around $34,000 for every day of her brief four-year marriage. A good gig if you can get it—and live with yourself afterwards. And hardly a hard day’s night.
My nephew just told me he doesn't like fish because it tastes too fishy. Sounds about right. I remember hating fish too when I was growing up and that was problematic because we lived on the coast so it graced our table at least twice a week. I remember my mother griping, "You'll eat it because it's good for you not because you like it.".....as she blew second hand smoke from her Benson & Hedges all around the house.
As an adult, I love to eat fish and shell fish but not more than twice a month because of mercury.....despite the heart health advantages. Lily eats salmon or as she likes to call it 'pink fish'. I've been giving her farm raised salmon until I learned that farm raised fish are often higher in PCBs than wild salmon. Now I'm not exactly sure what to do. I've been told canned salmon is an option as canned fish are often wild.
The way I got her into eating fish was to involve her in the cooking process. She actually likes cleaning fish. Who knew? What do you do? Do you serve your children fish?
As we New Yorkers of every race, creed, and religious and ethnic background say (think “Oh boy!” for a rough translation):
OY! And here in now former-governor Eliot Spitzer’s home state, we have lots to oy about.
In case your local news outlets aren’t running the Spitzer scandal 24/7 like ours are, our tough crusader on corruption (some would say “holier-than-thou”) governor has just crashed and burned, resigning over allegations that he repeatedly patronized a “high class” prostitution ring. In addition to the obviously illegal act of paying a prostitute, he is alleged to have broken other laws involving the manipulation of funds and transporting someone over state lines for the purposes of engaging in paid sex (he funded a rendez-vous in Washington, DC with his New York-based “friend”). The details are still emerging but oh, boy! they don’t sound good.
So, first comes shock and disbelief.
Then comes sadness and compassion for the family (Spitzer has three teenaged daughters. Do I have to say more?)
And then, inevitably, comes the tsk, tsk, tsk’ing about “So what’s up with the wife?”
Spitzer’s wife, Silda, by all accounts a smart (she’s an Ivy League educated attorney), compassionate (she founded a non-profit that serves children), and yes, attractive woman, is coming under fire for “standing by her man” at news conferences after the scandal broke, in yet just another insidious twist on the old “When in doubt, blame the (fill-in-the-blank here): mom, wife, victim, etc.” adage.
Yesterday was my typical Monday. I drop my daughter at her 2 1/2 hour pre-school day and since we live 20 minutes away, I visit my local Panera for that free wi-fi and some fabulous coffee. It is my office away from home. Love it (and this is NOT a sponsored endorsement!)I set up the laptop and start working. I was having a conversation on my cell phone with our investors. After about 20 minutes of some serious discussions, I look up and around at the other patrons. There were 7 women between the ages of 30-40 - I'd say - ALL with their laptops and cell phones/blackberry's on the table. This was all before 11am. It does amaze me where we have come. Forget technology and the ability for us to truly be productive and mobile beings, but the fact that we - Hybrid Moms - have these options and opportunities to work, live and play on our own terms. Awesome really.
(keep reading - there's more)
When parents say they love homeschooling their children that's the Paxil talking....or maybe they're afraid Jesus might send down a lightning bolt or something. Whenever I think of homeschooling I think of Andrea Yates....and look at how that ended. Not Good with a capital N G.
According to AOL News today: "A California court ruling that challenges parents' legal right to teach their children at home is angering home schoolers, who hope the state's Supreme Court will overturn the decision. Otherwise, advocates say, thousands of families may be forced to abandon home schooling."
Good. I may be a stay at home mom (I work nights) but I'm a big believer in school.....outside of the home. I only have one child but I could not for the life of me imagine electing to keep her home 24/7. That just sounds like torture....for both of us. I know of another institution where people are forced to stay with one group all the time it's called prison....and they're all medicated there too. Socialization plays a great role in one's education and isolating one's children at home does not sound like a good plan.....unless you have like 13 children. Then one's backyard truly becomes 'the yard'.
My own favorite child-raising philosophy:
The job of a parent is to give one’s children roots to grow…and wings to fly.
It’s something I think about most everyday, and try to remember when I'm tempted to clip my own kids’ wings. What personal parenting credo speaks to you?
My friend's daughter, Hillary, is only 11 and she's menstruating already. In fact, she started last fall when she was just turning 11. Like me, my friend is also into organic food. That's how we met actually: we struck up a conversation on Flax Seed Oil at our local farmer's market. She started her kids on an organic diet when they were just infants and she's quite the enthusiast, prompting me to rename her the Nutrition Nazi.
Well Hillary just announced to me yesterday that she has PMS. It caught me quite off guard, I had no idea. Not that I would, it's clearly none of my business. I was like. "You have Pre Math Syndrome?" I mean, she's 11 for god's sake....I hated Trigonometry too. Then I suddenly remembered my friend from college, who was quite the hippy, also raising her daughters on organic food and that they all entered puberty quite early too: like 10 or 11. My college buddy didn't start menstruating herself till she was 14.
An 80 year old man decides to take a vacation in Miami to visit his friends. Whilst on holiday, the old man dies. They ship his body back to New York for a funeral. At his funeral, there's an open coffin. His fellow friends from Queens attend the service. Afterwards, one was overheard saying, "Didn't he look wonderful?!" To which another friend said, "Yes, those two weeks in Florida did him a world of good."
We had a great time in Florida.....despite the millions of cranky, old people. How can one live in such paradise, not work, get all sorts of crazy discounts on food and movies and still be so bloody miserable?! And they have Viagra! What else do these people need?
Here we are pursuing Lily's first love: Lighthouses. Now we can mark off the Cape Florida Lighthouse on Key Biscayne from our To Do List.
The only thing worse than seeing yourself in the mirror of a department store when trying on bathing suits is finding out that the one you bought last year mysteriously shrunk, over the winter, in your closet.
That's right....the disgust I felt for my ever-growing, size 10 frame last year, was just replaced by a new loathing for the size 12 I've become! What the heck is going on?! So the tankini with the built-in skirt that I sported last summer and brought along to Florida for my official Winter Humiliation Week is now too tight!! I swear ladies, I'm eating the same amount of junk food juxtaposed with guilt relieving organic salads this year that I ate last year. I always balance my calories: when I stop at Taco Bell for their Burrito Supreme I always get the diet coke.
I'm a mom. I don't have time for the gym and I just can't keep up with diets and I've done 'em all. Remember the Atkins Diet: couldn't eat bread, bread crumbs; you couldn't even get a yeast infection on that. I started running again this afternoon....in the rain....as soon as we flew back from Florida...and now my knees are aching (I deserve it). What do you recommend?
Last night I tried to make a quick stop at my local supermarket for a few essentials (milk, People mag, and some Chunky Monkey) on the way home from work. I say tried because I ended up getting stuck behind a creeping-along-at-a-snail's-pace car as it entered the packed parking lot and proceeded to crawl along, moving in fits and starts, looking for a parking space.
Okay, Laurie, relax. It’s probably some cute little old lady, extra-cautious type out to score her essentials: milk, People mag, and Geritol. Just be patient, I chided myself. I ended up parking next to Grams, then stole a look to my left to get a visual and see if she needed a little help getting out of her car. Turns out Grammy was a 30-something soccer mom type, yak, yak, yaking on the cell she held in one hand as she used two fingers on the other to steer her car into a parking spot that was w-a-a-a-y to close to comfort to mine.
Call me cranky but: give me break. If you absolutely must drive and chat (“Really? Poindexter aced that exam! And after it was over, he went on to score the winning basket at that afternoon’s game!”), get a hands-free thingy or just pull over to the side of the road. (Never mind that it’s illegal to drive and talk on a handheld cell in the great state of New York and elsewhere.)
Last I saw of my little-old-lady-turned-cell-phone-junkie, she was yakking away in the produce section and using those same two fingers on her other hand to steer a shopping cart w-a-a-a-y too close to comfort to a precariously stacked pyramid of grapefruits. Me? I headed to the freezer section to snatch up my ice cream and cool off.
Let's hear it for the men!
It’s not
often we women get to say that, but according to an MSNBC story, men are slowly
getting better at helping with housework and child care.
The Council
on Contemporary Families found that, since the ‘60s, men’s contribution to
housework has doubled and the time they spend on child care has tripled.
And not
only does chore sharing save
time, but according to Joshua Coleman, a San Francisco-area psychologist,
it also allows for a happier marriage
and more frequent
sex.
If that
doesn’t convince your husband
to pitch in, I don’t know what will.
How does
your husband help out around the house? Does more chore sharing equal more
lovin’ in your home? Tell us!
--Allison Busacca, Assistant Producer, Pregnancy and Parenting