Are We Role Models?
Yesterday was my typical Monday. I drop my daughter at her 2 1/2 hour pre-school day and since we live 20 minutes away, I visit my local Panera for that free wi-fi and some fabulous coffee. It is my office away from home. Love it (and this is NOT a sponsored endorsement!)I set up the laptop and start working. I was having a conversation on my cell phone with our investors. After about 20 minutes of some serious discussions, I look up and around at the other patrons. There were 7 women between the ages of 30-40 - I'd say - ALL with their laptops and cell phones/blackberry's on the table. This was all before 11am. It does amaze me where we have come. Forget technology and the ability for us to truly be productive and mobile beings, but the fact that we - Hybrid Moms - have these options and opportunities to work, live and play on our own terms. Awesome really.
(keep reading - there's more)
After these thoughts go through my mind, a school bus load of teenage
girls walks through the door. It was part of a field trip -
approximately 30 girls around 13 years old standing on line to grab
lunch. There's no question that I might be a deep thinker and was
living in that moment, but I watched a few of the girls look around and
notice these women on laptops working. I couldn't help but think, what
are they thinking when they see this? Do girls at that age notice that these flexible opportunities exist? Do they
exist? Was this just a figment of my imagination that the revolution
that we as Hybrid Moms have defined, exists? Were these other 7 women
playing solitaire on their laptops or were they part of a flexible work
arrangement? Were they entrepreneurs? Who were they? Gosh, looking back
I should have done a quick research study on them. Darn. I'm sure I'll
be faced with it again next Monday and I will be sure to report back to
you on it.
Anyhow, more on the title question. Are we role models to these girls that came in on that field trip? Are they aware that years ago there were not many opportunities for them to have balance as they grew in their careers, got married and had children. Will they appreciate this revolution and movement of 'flexible' opportunities - working and motherhood - entrepreneurship, consulting, community work - however they will define 'work' that there are and will only continue to be options for them... because of us. To those 7 women that were working at Panera...thank you. To the field trip girls...you're welcome. Even if you were looking at me at that moment in your life and thinking 'who is this old woman with the huge 'mainframe' laptop, thinking she's cool with a blackberry - shouldn't she be in an office or cleaning a house somewhere?' Think about me in 20 years and you'll understand.
Anyhow, more on the title question. Are we role models to these girls that came in on that field trip? Are they aware that years ago there were not many opportunities for them to have balance as they grew in their careers, got married and had children. Will they appreciate this revolution and movement of 'flexible' opportunities - working and motherhood - entrepreneurship, consulting, community work - however they will define 'work' that there are and will only continue to be options for them... because of us. To those 7 women that were working at Panera...thank you. To the field trip girls...you're welcome. Even if you were looking at me at that moment in your life and thinking 'who is this old woman with the huge 'mainframe' laptop, thinking she's cool with a blackberry - shouldn't she be in an office or cleaning a house somewhere?' Think about me in 20 years and you'll understand.
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Are you a role model? Or are you just fortunate enough to have married a man who makes enough money that allows you to have your Panera time? I, too, have been to Panera for free WiFi. But, not to talk to my money managers. I work for Corporate America, and I need to check email or submit an expense report. I look at women like you and feel jealous. I am not passing judgement. I am struggling with what should be the role model?
Do we encourage our girls to go to college, get a degree, and get a great job? With every great job comes the inevitable stress. The responsibility to answer to another set of people, in addition to our families.
I look at some stay at home moms. Was it a waste of money to send them to college for a degree if they are not utilizing it? Are they breeding boys who will expect their wives to stay home?
My friend is a stay at home mom. Her husband does not really respect what she does with her time. The "what do you do all day?" question arises if she is not setting the table for dinner at six.
I work full time, pay a girl to pick up my daughter at school to avoid "after school care." I have a house cleaner every week, but do my own laundry and bedding. Grocery shopping, scheduling play dates, keeping up with school projects, dinner plans, school lunch, weekend plans, birthday parties, these are still me responsibilities. I want to work, and feel a great responsibility to provide my paycheck. I also feel a great deal of pride and accomplishment by remaining in this corporate world. Some days I wonder, is it all worth it?
What do I want for my girl? A Princeton Degree? Well, how will I feel if she marries and become a stay at home mom? As long as she is happy? How hard did I work to send her to private schools all her life? Do I teach her to never be indebted to a man? To be able to always provide for herself, because you never know what will happen?
What is the good role model?
Now, I have to go to work! Five appointments before a lunch meeting, six appointments after lunch and be at the gym by five. I need to go to Target and pick up and few things and get a scrip filled. Then, home to cook dinner etc. Is this the role model?
Who knows?
I just read your comments from March 12 and it hit right on target with me trying to decide to go back to work or not to! I have always been an independent women and recently had my second daughter, with a husband who does say "what did you do all day? "
What is the answer and how do you find it ?