What's With The Wife? Fallout From The Spitzer Debacle
As we New Yorkers of every race, creed, and religious and ethnic background say (think “Oh boy!” for a rough translation):
OY! And here in now former-governor Eliot Spitzer’s home state, we have lots to oy about.
In case your local news outlets aren’t running the Spitzer scandal 24/7 like ours are, our tough crusader on corruption (some would say “holier-than-thou”) governor has just crashed and burned, resigning over allegations that he repeatedly patronized a “high class” prostitution ring. In addition to the obviously illegal act of paying a prostitute, he is alleged to have broken other laws involving the manipulation of funds and transporting someone over state lines for the purposes of engaging in paid sex (he funded a rendez-vous in Washington, DC with his New York-based “friend”). The details are still emerging but oh, boy! they don’t sound good.
So, first comes shock and disbelief.
Then comes sadness and compassion for the family (Spitzer has three teenaged daughters. Do I have to say more?)
And then, inevitably, comes the tsk, tsk, tsk’ing about “So what’s up with the wife?”
Spitzer’s wife, Silda, by all accounts a smart (she’s an Ivy League educated attorney), compassionate (she founded a non-profit that serves children), and yes, attractive woman, is coming under fire for “standing by her man” at news conferences after the scandal broke, in yet just another insidious twist on the old “When in doubt, blame the (fill-in-the-blank here): mom, wife, victim, etc.” adage.
To which I say: C’mon, cut this woman some slack. She’s undoubtedly in shock and still reeling about the life as she knew it combusting for all to see. Not only is this whole debacle not her doing, no one knows what will happen—and what is happening—behind closed doors. Indeed, this is a classic case of “damned if you do, damned if you don’t.” No matter what course Silda Spitzer chose, standing beside him in public or remaining out of sight, she would have caught the same flack now directed at her in the nail salon, on the treadmill, and around the coffee machine at work.
My heart goes out to Mrs. Spitzer and her daughters. And while I am sorry to see anyone with good intentions self-destruct, here’s my thinking on this: I don’t care about politicians’ sex lives or what they do behind closed doors. But this one broke the law, and no one—as he has said repeatedly—should be above it. Eliot Spitzer violated the trust of his family and his constituents. He strayed from—and so made—his own bed. Now it’s time for him to lie in it. And for the rest of us to stop whispering about his wife.
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The only people above the law are the people who make laws.
I could not agree with you more. I could care less about his personal life, that is his and his family's business, however anyone who has taken such a holier than thou political stance for the past 8 years has quite a nerve and should definitely be punished by the same laws he applied to so many others. The wife is in a no win situation, but history has proven that "standing by her husband" cannot be a bad thing for her at this time.
Laurie,
I so agree with you. No one should be judging Silda Spitzer. She is in a terrible situation. She is probably in shock and needs the dust to settle. She also has 3 children to think about.
However, her husband, should be punished like the rest of us. Will that happen, doubtful!
Eliot Spitzer is the one who signed the law allowing for larger consequences for those seeking prostitutes.
The biggest problem is that he was always so self-righteous.
Those of you from New York have to remember how he destroyed Alan Hevesi's career over something MUCH less disturbing than frequenting prostitutes.
I definately think the wife shoulda left his A*# in the dust. I mean, the chances she would of left him if he were just an average Joe are more likely but, the fact that her husband is a public figure she must feel REALLY pressured to put on that supportive role and act like it's all ok. I just feel bad for the wife and his children. I will always believe once a cheat always a cheat and, he's just sorry for getting caught. Would he of told his family had this not happened the way it did? Probably not...he'd still be shacked up in some fancy five star hotel with his homewrecker mistress. I hope his wife gets the courage to put this behind her and MOVE ON!! For those of you who don't agree...that's fine, but this is my opinion....
Ever since the internet and traditional media has become 24/7 and everywhere we go, you would think men like this would learn something. After watching the Bill and Monica soap opera of the not so long ago 90’s when will they learn? These men and all of the other politicians who have been removed from office lately, do not care about anyone but themselves in the short or long run. The humiliations and embarrassment that occurs to their families is not enough to by pass that piece of A*&. I know Silda did what she felt she had to do and I know all women support her. I just would like to see one woman whom clearly has the means to go on with her life, to allow their husband to get out of his mess by himself. I would had told him “to go and get another $4300.00 then call his prostitute and pay her to stand up there with him”.