Feel like you’re on overload?

With three kids, two older parents with health issues, two jobs, and countless work and home deadlines between us, one of my fave gal pals and I were feeling stressed out to the max. So we took ourselves to a chick flick matinee. This afternoon, we (and 12 other lucky people) saw “Baby Mama” (more about the movie in my next post).

We laughed, listened, and unloaded ourselves before, during, and after the flick. And it was the BEST antidote to the overload blues ever. If you can fit it in, try it and see!

Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the internet another wacky news story is spreading like a virus.  It's manic Monday my dear readers.  This one takes the cake:  A Maine woman was taken to a hospital rather than a jail cell after she began going into labor in the back seat of a police car following her arrest on a domestic violence charge this past weekend.

Police said the 23-year-old gave birth after being arrested earlier in the evening for allegedly assaulting her husband in a fight while driving.  Road rage is taking on a whole new meaning.  I'm shocked - she's married at 23!  Poor thing.

Officer Doug Maifeld told the Sun Journal of Lewiston that the woman, who was eight months pregnant, began going into contractions in the back of the police car. He said an ambulance met them at the police station and took the woman to the hospital.  Police said the mother and baby were then taken to Maine Medical Center in Portland, where they were reported to be fine. 

Perhaps all that exertion brought on labor.  I remember taking walks around the hospital to bring on labor I just should have beaten up my husband....lord knows I was in enough pain too.  Did I miss something?  Is beating up other people the new lamaze?  Breathe and beat ladies.  Do you think she'll blame this on raging hormones? 

Did you beat your husband when you were pregnant?  Did you come close?

Disney's "Hannah Montana" star, Miley Cyrus, is everywhere. She's on TV and in magazines, and her image is on billboards, T-shirts and even backpacks and pencils. And soon, she's going to be in the June issue of Vanity Fair. Shot by the famous photographer Annie Leibovitz, the 15 year old posed coyly holding a silk sheet against her chest so that she appears nude. Although Cyrus claims that she was wearing a tank top beneath the sheet, parents across America aren't happy.

To make matters worse, the Vanity Fair controversy is not the first time sexy images of Cyrus have surfaced. Last week, snapshots of the star flashing her underwear and sitting provocatively on her then-boyfriend's lap hit the internet. Over 3 million girls mostly between the ages of 6 and 14 routinely tune in to watch Cyrus on "Hannah Montana," and many parents have come to see the star as the last female role model who their daughters can look up to. Now, however, they fear she's going the way of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan before her.

What do you think? Do the recent pictures of Miley Cyrus make you question her respectability? How do you feel about your daughter idolizing the teen star? Are you planning on discussing the photos with your daughter? Share your thoughts.

--Victoria Loustalot, Real-Time Associate Producer  

Hey there Funny Mom fans, if you want some really good belly laughs this weekend come out to see MAMA'S NIGHT OUT on Saturday, May 3rd, at 8:00PM at the Carlisle Theatre in Harrisburg, PA.  Get an early start to your Mother's Day celebration this year.  

MAMA'S NIGHT OUT is comedy by mothers for everyone so bring your husbands they'll enjoy it too.  MNIO is family friendly comedy but please leave the kids at home!

I just heard the news that J Lo and hubby Mark Anthony are going to star in their own reality show on the Learning Channel about balancing family and career.  I am so fed up with the reality genre already.  What ever happened to a little fiction?  Not to say that reality shows aren't completely produced and fake but enough airing of the boring minutia of the lives of celebrities, their ugly, spoiled families and showing them after they've had unneccessary plastic surgery and calling it entertainment already.  

And J Lo just had her babies like a few weeks ago and suddenly she's the authority on balancing career and family?!  Oh yeah, it's so hard to maintain that balance when you have millions of dollars.  Try balancing my entertainment career with my family!  There's no full time nanny in my house to pick up the kids after school, clean the house, no personal assistant to run my errands or drive me to the airport.  Give me a break.  I'm on the ledge people and I'm gonna jump already.  Sounds like the Learning Channel got desperate in their grab for ratings and lowered themselves for another celeb style reality show. 

PS - I did a season on a reality show and I can say with the utmost conviction that they're completely produced.

Somewhere in an alternate universe:

Dear Kids, Hubby, Dogs, Dirty Dishes, & Boss,

Please excuse Laurie from home and work today as she doesn’t feel well and is just generally burnt out.

Sincerely, Laurie

 

As if! But hey, it worked in third grade.

Finally, a bit of good news for American parents and their children! A new study being released today reports that the well-being of American children increased by almost 10 percent between 1994 and 2006. The study credits improved government programs as well as better parenting for the encouraging statistics. Mortality rates for children between the ages of one and four are down by a third, and homicide rates are down even more—they've decreased by 50 percent. Fewer mothers are smoking during their pregnancies and the number of sixth graders who fear being attacked or harmed at school has declined 36 percent. In addition, the report found that more parents are limiting the amount of television their children watch and are also reading to their kids more frequently. Even lead poisoning is on the decline; the number of children who tested positive for elevated levels of lead is down 84 percent.

Although the researchers behind the report acknowledge that some trends remain alarming, such as the increase in childhood obesity and low-birth-weight babies, they also agree that the new findings give families much to celebrate.

What do you think? Do you agree that the overall quality of life for children in this country has improved? Are you glad you're raising your kids now rather than 14 years ago? Share your thoughts!

--Victoria Loustalot, Real-Time Associate Producer 

My husband and I are friends with another married couple who also have a 5 year old - Samuel. They're really good friends and we always look forward to get togethers. Our husbands get along, our kids do, we do too. We take holidays together on the Cape every summer. Sounds perfect right? It was.....(dramatic music - dum, dum, dum)....till their son started hitting our daughter.

This started about 6 months ago. Admittedly, boys play very differently than girls. From what I've observed in the playground and from my own nephew experiences: boys think nothing of hitting; they actually seem to enjoy it; nor do they appear to hold grudges when they've been hit; they're just a different species. Girls are a very different matter altogether. They rarely hit and god forbid they do get hit they will remind you of the 'incident' for years to come: the time it happened; the day; what they were wearing; what they were feeling at the moment, etc....you get the picture.

Sometimes it takes so little to make me happy. Organization freak that I am, I love the feeling I get from editing, organizing, and cleaning out my closet—and giving away that fit-for-football shoulder padded top from the early 90’s. Even better? Going shopping in my own closet and discovering a sweater I forgot about or thought I lost. But nothing beats the ultimate thrill of finding a pair of crumpled up 20 dollar bills in an old purse. 

So what spring cleaning ritual does it for you?

Custom cars, custom computers, why not custom kids?  The question is asked of almost every prospective parent: "Would you prefer a girl or a boy?"  Upon first pondering a parent's ability to select the sex of their children I must admit, my knee jerk reaction is NO.  I'm of the belief that this much fooling with nature will only result in an imbalance in the population like the one very present in China.  They have entire generations of men with no wives and no more children.   I realize the inherit conflict in saying this because I believe a woman's right to chose is her own private medical decision so logically it should follow the right to chose the sex of her children should be her decision as well. 

Medically speaking, I am aware that doctors often provide genetic counseling to couples who may be carriers of diseases that are more prevalent in certain sexes leaving the couple to decide.  That's appropriate. 

If I could choose the sex of our next child I have to say I'd have another girl only because I have such great clothes from Lily.  I also have some fabulous shoes for 'her' that I'd hate to waste and some great accessories too.  I even have a great name picked out:  Violet.  Then, I could have my little garden of children:  Lily; Violet.  Sounds like science fiction.  And we all know, little boys can be very gross.  I have nephews.  I've seen their disgusting little habits.  I'm kidding people.....or am I???

What do you think?  Should parents be allowed to pick the sex of their children?  Did you?

When you think of "frat house," what comes to mind? Animal House antics, beer pong, and toga bashes? But just as all teen girls aren’t Britney, Lindsay, and Paris wannabees, the guys—and girls—in the Greek system aren’t all 24/7 partiers majoring in sex, drugs, and Rolling Rock.

Case in point: on my son’s college campus, 548 students in 62 teams—one of which was his fraternity’s—just raised an astounding $51,303.01 for the American Cancer Society’s annual Relay for Life event, held this weekend at his school and replicated at scores of other ones throughout the year. Funding cancer research is a cause especially dear to our family—as it is to so many others around the world; both my parents died of the disease long before my kids were born, and my husband is a cancer survivor. 

So, here’s a special shout out to my son, his frat brothers, and all of his fellow college students who worked so hard to make this year’s Relay for Life so successful: thank you for your time and efforts. And now…party hearty!   

We babysat our 4 month old god son, Andrew, on Sunday.  It's only been a few years since Lily required constant carrying but wow have baby slings come a long way!  Now Lily was an enormous baby.  She weighed 9.5 pounds at birth (born naturally by the way - hey drugs are natural - 17 stitches later thank you very much) and was 13 pounds by the end of her first month.  I remember one of my aunts gave me a sling at my baby shower.  She kept saying, "I first saw this in Guatemala, all the women down there use them."  To which I replied, "Great, I'll remember that when I'm picking coffee beans in Brooklyn."

I always thought they looked a bit dodgy.  The one my aunt gave me didn't look particularly strong enough to hold my little butter ball.  It was like a sheet with a clip on it and the whole 'one clip' thing didn't thrill me safety wise.  And quite honestly, our über baby was so heavy I couldn't imagine the positioning of her weight being beneficial to my back.  I also wasn't thrilled with the fact that slings looked like a lot of work.  One minute it's a sheet with a clip the next it's a bandanna.  I was never good at making beds I still can't get my corners to look like sails so how could I possibly handle the sheet thing every day.  I'm sure there are millions of women who use them and the benefits they get from them are innumerable.  Good, good for them.  As we say in Brooklyn, "I'm just saying." 

If you were going to have plastic surgery, how would you talk to your kids about it?

According to Newsweek, Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a board-certified plastic surgeon in Bal Harbour, Fla, suggests that you use his picture book, "My Beautiful Mommy", out this Mother's Day.

The book, aimed at kids ages four to seven, features a perky, Barbie-like mother who explains to her child that she's getting a nose job and tummy tuck to make herself feel better and to fit back into her clothing post-pregnancy. (Apparently, the illustrations also show Mommy’s breasts getting noticeably larger, but no one talks about that.) In the end, her daughter believes that her mommy looks "even more" beautiful than before.

I agree that parents should talk to their kids if they undergo surgery. Salzhauer points out that it can be scary for a child to see a parent come home in bandages and often times, surgery can put you out of parenting commission for a few days. However, the book could also perpetuate body image issues -- kids will think their own body parts must need "fixing" too.

What is your take on the issue? iVillage moms have been on the fence about mommy makeovers before—some are all for it, some are against it. What would you do and would you use this book to talk to your kids about it?

The classic baby book has a whole new look. According to an article on MSNBC yesterday, "What to Expect When You're Expecting" just released its largely rewritten, fourth edition, complete with an updated, chic woman on the cover. (See below for before and after pictures.)

However, the article questions whether the revamp is enough. Not only are there hundreds of other baby books, “but there's also the big wide Web world out there, and it's not just all those sites offering medical information. This is the age of the message board, where a woman who has a strange ache or pain at 3 a.m. can fire off a cyber-question: "Late-night cramps at 5 months pg, dh asleep, what do i do?" Answers come within moments.”

At iVillage, we have just that. You can track your pregnancy progress day by day with the Pregnancy Calendar, find a name for your baby-to-be with the Baby Name Finder, keep your style up to date with maternity style tips and talk to other women due the same month you are by joining an Expecting Club.

As a person who grew up using the internet as my main source of information, I can’t imagine looking anywhere else for pregnancy tools and information. But what is your preference? What did you use for your pregnancy—books or the Web?

Working from home the other day, I decided to use the opportunity to cross off some of those nagging little stragglers on my To Do list in between bouts of writer's block. First, I head into our quaint little downtown to do a two-minute drop-off at a local business, only to be greeted by bumper-to-bumper traffic clogging its narrow streets. Turns out the little lane on which the office I need to visit is located is totally closed off for some heavy-duty road repair. Time to find a parking spot and maneuver through the congestion: 57 minutes. Time spent in drop off: two minutes-and-25-seconds.

That mission finally accomplished, I head back to my car and am just about to pull out of my hard-won parking space when I receive a call from my office.  I'm chatting with a colleague about where to find something on my computer when a behemoth SUV (the only kind driven by everyone-but-moi here in the ‘burbs) pulls into the space ahead of me. The driver backs up without looking and proceeds to smack (not tap) the front bumper of my teensy-by-comparison vehicle with me in it.  After disembarking, she casually saunters away without so much as a token glance in my direction.

We're faced with an educational dilemma here in Brooklyn. Lily, our five year old whose birthday is December 22nd, is having trouble keeping up in Kindergarten. Believe it or not, they're only 5, 6 at the most, and they're doing fractions this week! Lily, like most kids her age has trouble paying attention so fractions are really a joke to her and she's the youngest in her class so she has 'maturation issues' already. I even tried to make the fractions homework fun last night: if you have one booger and you cut it in two that makes two halves of a booger. You see maturation issues run in the family.

Now fractions to me, are first grade level work. Even Lily's teachers agree the standards of the state educational board that decides on curricula are not age appropriate. But make no mistake, many, many schools are pushing our children to learn earlier and earlier. New York State isn't alone in this. On a lighter note, I believe in a life of lowered expectations and standards. And that we should start disappointing our children now if we're really going to prepare them for the world.

I think these are the perfect solution for people who want to feel like they live in the city but remain in the country.  If you look closely enough you can see the still in the background.  I'll take the penthouse please.

Now here’s a scary thought. On one of his infrequent phone calls home, my college son casually mentions that his dorm room is really a mess.

Whoa. This comment really gives me pause, especially as I’ve seen firsthand his version of a “neat room” when that room was under my roof. And if that was neat, I shudder to imagine what would warrant use of the “really a mess” descriptor.

But that’s the beauty of your student attending college in another state: you don’t have to shut the door to his room to pretend it’s not there. Because you’re not there. You can’t do a casual reconnaissance even if (and that’s a big if) you wanted to. But the mental picture? Still frightening indeed. And that’s precisely why I subscribe to the “outta sight, outta mind” collegiate parenting credo.

OMG!  I went to our local Keyfood this morning just to pick up a few items, 5 in fact, and the total came to $29.73.  I was so shocked I made the Express Line cashier (who now really hates me) void out the order and do it again.  I hate that she chews her gum so loudly and then snarls into that awful microphone, "Manager to express register."  Much to my chagrin and disappointment, the total was the same - $29.73 for: cookies (one package); breakfast sausages; milk; scallions; and organic apple juice!  Holy crap people!  Now that I'm a mom, I find myself running to the store every day to pick up some item I've run out of.  Looks like I'll run out of money first.  I don't know about a full on recession but I think it's say to say that inflation is way on the rise. 

Have you noticed prices going up on everything as well?  I know we're getting hammered at the pump but what about everywhere else too?   Share your latest sticker shock with your fellow fleeced parents, misery loves company. 

Sorry readers I couldn't help commenting on this photo I saw on AOL.com today.  My b.s. barometer has reached fever pitch and there's not enough Children's Tylenol in this house to break it.  I know what you're thinking.....this photo of Bush must be photo-shopped because we've never seen him expressing real emotion in the form of tears before for the victims of the war that he started in Iraq.  Finally.  But do you think he really cares about all our young soldiers dying over there?  Or for the Iraqi people?  The families (in both countries) that are being destroyed by this senseless war?  The fact that we've taken the most secular country in the Middle East and completely devastated their economy and their infrastructure?  And what about our own economy?  Our own infrastructure?  Our schools? 

The bridge in my neighborhood was just voted one of the 20 most heavily trafficked in the U.S. in need of immediate repair.  And it's over water!  There's no money to fix it either but there's money for a war.  And for those of you who say, that money comes from a different place I say it comes from the same place - the tax payers pocket.  Enough already.  Every great civilization falls:  ancient Rome did too fighting countless wars against supposed 'invaders'.  I wonder if they referred to the Gauls as the evil doers?  A man started this war I think it will take a woman to end it.....and you know who I'm talking about.  But I think it would be even more sweetly ironic if the man to assume office after Bush has the middle name Hussein.  Maybe there is a god after all.

I hate to go all Oprah’s Book Club on you—as if I had the platform to propel a book to the top of the NY Times best-seller list…and if I did, just FYI: it would be the one I’m writing) but I’m absolutely loving the book I’m reading now. Of course, as an admitted book addict (hey, it could be worse), I’m usually reading something I love at any given time, but this recommendation is parenting-related so here goes.

If you’re looking for a compelling read that touches on a hot button topic (working vs. stay-at-home moms) in a fresh way, pick up the latest book by Meg Wolitzer (one of my favorite authors): The Ten Year Nap (don't you love that title?).  Wolitzer checks in with a group of NYC moms a decade after they elect to leave their careers and stay home full-time to raise their newborns. I literally can not put it down.

Have you read it? If so, what did you think? If you haven’t, check it out and then let me know. Happy Reading! 

While out with a few girlfriends last week, we noticed many men and women at the bar. It was 6pm. Obviously, happy hour after work. Honestly, it was a fluke that we were all out together at that time, but it was something that we had planned for some time. Actually, it got us thinking. Within this circle of my friends, we ran the gamut as far as mom 'type'. A few are full-time working moms, one part-time working mom, 2 business owners, and 2 'stay-at-home' moms.  As we started to talk about everything, including the challenges within our Hybrid Mom lives - as we often do, we came up with Hybrid Mom Happy Hour. What a great idea?! Why can't we get 1/2 priced drinks? We simply can't get to the bars and restaurants at 6pm any night of the week. Who will take care of the kids? Doesn't quite make sense to get a babysitter for that - well, at least not every week.  So, after that discussion I called a business relationship that we have in our community. This gentleman owns 12 Ruby Tuesday's in New York. Linda and I proposed the idea to him and he absolutely loved it.  Why am I writing this? Well, I want to hear from iVillage readers. Would you and your friends love a night out? Would you go to Hybrid Mom Happy Hour at a Ruby Tuesday's? It probably would be a Wednesday night from 8pm (after the kiddies are down and the hubby is home) to 11pm. 1/2 priced drinks plus a fun special Hybrid Momtini!!  Now, that sounds like a fun night out! Don't we deserve it?

I would just like to hear your feelings and thoughts and of course any feedback or ideas. Thanks for providing me with a platform enabling me to hear from the great iVillage readers! I look forward to hearing your comments. THANKS!
 

Here’s what I've been thinking lately as I watch my kids grow: If I do this mothering thing correctly, eventually I’ll work myself right out of a job—meaning my kids will become independent, fully functioning, and productive members of society and not, say, permanent residents on my family room couch (temporary couch crashing is, however, always an option). I’m so proud of them both, especially how they've met some recent challenges, and am happy to say it looks like they are on their way. 

Parental pink slip, here I come. Or perhaps, I'll just downsize from a full-time, hands-on mom to more of a maternal consultant. 

Note to those younger people who share my last name and DNA: Yes, I’ll still do your laundry when you’re home from college, whip up your favorite meals when you come to visit, and always, always, always be there for you for all the drama, the excitement, and everything in between. ‘Cause no matter how old you are, where you’re living, or how much taller and/or sophisticated you become, you’ll always be my babies. (Ain't that the truth, Moms?)  

I had lunch with a group of old college buddies today.  Some of us chose to raise our children in urban environments while other parents opted for the burbs.  Now I've always thought there are many benefits to both: urban centers are great for diversity, exposing children to culture, museums, smelly street freaks you know all that great stuff associated with cities; while there's nothing like good 'ole fresh air, green grass, climbing trees, competing with supposedly friendlier people over sh*t no one really needs nor can afford to develop a child's imagination and body.

In a nutshell, I'm saying there are benefits to both.  I've never been one of those people who says I'd choose the city over the country for my child or vice versa.  I'm generally not that black and white about anything.  It's just worked out this way for us career wise: both my husband and I work in NYC.  It's definitely not cheaper to live in the suburbs - let's just dispel that myth.  When all the costs are figured in like commuting and taxes even the New York Times says home ownership costs about the same in the suburbs as it does in New York City. 

We just tend to be city dwellers.  We see the benefits to living in Brooklyn on a daily basis but we love the ease of suburban living....at least it appears to be easier....the grass is always greener because heck we don't even have grass!  If we could just get a Dairy Barn in Brooklyn I swear all our problems would be over: to not have to get out of the car; or circle for hours looking for a parking spot; or wait while some mental patient tries to haggle over the price; just to get a quart of organic milk would be incredible.