A spoonful of sugar may help the medicine go down, but is sugar ready to work as medicine on its own? The New York Times recently featured a mom who started a company to market a new pill called Obecalp. It’s “placebo” spelled backwards. And maybe it’s just what the doctor would order.

She’s a mom with a story we know well. She was taking care of her niece, who was complaining of pain. Suspecting hypochondria, she just needed something that would seem to help ease the pain. And the idea struck her for a placebo pill for kids…cherry-flavored sugar pills that taste enough like medicine to let kids think they’re getting something to make them feel better. A bottle of 50 Obecalp tablets costs just under $6.

The good news is, they can ease kids’ minds, which is probably where most of the pain is. And they don’t have the side effects or concerns that come with standard over the counter medicines. (Your dentist may have a different set of concerns.) But would you use it? Have you ever tried just passing off candy to see if the placebo effect would work? Do you think we’re just setting up our kids to join the overmedicated ranks of adulthood? Let us know your thoughts.

--Daniel Halperin, Health Producer

When we were growing up my parents never had enough time nor money to spoil us.  They were so busy just making ends meet that if we didn't like what was on our plate for dinner there were no 'other options' (like "...don't worry, I went to Costco I've got extra grilled chicken in the fridge..."), if we cried because we didn't want to go to bed we got spanked.  There was no negotiating with those two.  But when it comes to their grandchildren, my parents completely indulge them....as it should be.  Consider the photo to your right exhibit A. 

Lily asked for an ice cream yesterday and my mother spent 10 extra minutes cutting up enough strawberries and Hershey's kisses to make a 'Rooster' cone for her.  This is coming from the same woman who said phrases to us like, "I'll knock you into next week."  Go figure.

Do your parents spoil your children? Tell us how.

As I write this, I am stuck in my own suburban version of Survivor, The Construction Edition. Of the four houses abutting our property, two have been under extensive high decibel renovation—blasting, hammering, rumbles of heavy equipment, the works—since last July. And yesterday, to complete my induction to Homeowner Hades, the third of those four adjacent houses, the one that was right next to our bedroom, was completely razed. So we’re in for another year of this, blasting and all.

A special shout out and thank you to the only one of my four immediate neighbors who’s not doing anything to their house this summer except planting some lovely (and blessedly quiet) flowers.

 

Suri Cruise, the adorable daughter of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, may be two years old, but she's still devoted to her bottle. Most pediatricians recommend that parents introduce the sippy cup when their babies are between 9 and 11 months old. So, yes, Suri is behind the curve, but so long as she doesn't take a bottle to her high school prom, is it really such a big deal?

In the blogosphere, there are plenty of naysayers who think it's high time that Suri said goodbye to her bottle, but every child is different and does things at her own pace. When did your child graduate from bottle to sippy cup? Did you do anything to encourage the transition, or did you let your baby decide when she was ready? Share your thoughts.

--Victoria Loustalot, Real-Time Associate Producer

As a parent, chances are you've read or heard about other parents dealing with their children lashing out at them "I hate you!"; "I wish you would die" etc.

Being a mother of a 6 year old boy and a 3 year old girl, I always thought...not my kids. They would never. Well...it happened today. My son Shane, yes my 6 year old, spewed. He was angry with me because I was raising my voice and telling him to get up the stairs to get ready for bed. Now mind you, he was beyond tired and didn't want to hear me nagging him, however, it SO didn't give him any right to say what he said..."I hope you die soon!"

My God! I still am devastated.

Like I've said, you hear about this from other people - but I never, thought I would experience it, especially this soon. Am I naive? In denial? Apparently. My little boy has always been such a loving, sweet and considerate child. I am in shock. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with him? Is this normal?

After the bout, he got into his bed. I tucked in my little one and came back to his room. Gave him a kiss on his head and said 'No matter what you say to me, no matter how hurtful or wrong it is, I will always love you." The poor kid started crying and said that he hates himself for saying such a mean thing and that he shouldn't say bad things to mommy and daddy.

Is that the reaction you hope for? I guess. Gosh. I really didn't know how to handle it. You want to smack them upside the head. You want to yell more. You want to cry - well, I did. But you just hope whatever you say and however you handle it, makes them feel loved and understand that they just simply can't say those amazingly hurtful words. Obviously you know they don't really mean it, but wow - it slapped me right in the face.

Not sure if I will ever get over it. 

Have you? I'd love to hear anyone out there who has heard this from their little unappreciative offsprings!

Looking forward to hearing everyone else's devastation!

Thanks for responding.

When a photo of Princess Beatrice, the 19-year-old daughter of Prince Andrew and Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson, wearing a bikini was published in Britain, members of the British media castigated her figure. The Daily Mail columnist, Allison Pearson, who is known for her corrosive tone and is a mother herself, implored, "Can't someone buy that girl a sarong? For her sake, as well as ours." The Duchess of York wasted no time in coming to her daughter's defense. "Touch me, fine, but don't touch my children," Ferguson said at a press conference. She went on to applaud her daughter's academic achievements and called Bea a "healthy size 10."

Every day women of all ages all over the world feel societal pressure to look a certain way. Most likely, as a woman, the struggle to maintain a healthy self image is something you can relate to. And if you're a mother of a daughter, that struggle is probably even more pronounced and challenging. So how do you shield your daughter from the pressure to be thin, which Princess Beatrice, as a public figure, can't avoid? Do you try to limit your daughter's exposure to gossip magazines and celebrity news? Do you look for ways to bolster her confidence through athletics and positive role models at school or in your neighborhood? Share your thoughts.

gURL.com addresses body image
The secret to raising healthy eaters
Help your teen understand the importance of eating right
Everything you and your family needs to know about dieting and fitness

--Victoria Loustalot, Real-Time Associate Producer

I love a parade.  I know it sounds hoaky but I don't care.  I especially love small town parades.  I love all the fan fare associated with the local rotary club, the local Kiwanis organization, the blue haired old ladies marching for the local 'historical society' (I particularly love their historically accurate costumes combined with their Easy Spirit flats), the drum majorettes, the firemen, and most importantly, the Veterans of Foreign Wars who are finally getting the respect they deserve.  This past Memorial Day weekend was perfect weatherwise.  In fact, it's the first Memorial Day in five years (I know, I've been keeping track) since Lily was born that it wasn't raining or bloody freezing so we made sure to attend several parades and they did not disappoint.  Here are some pics:

Between Brittney, Lindsay and Miley, I think it's quite clear that children and show business are a toxic (in some cases lethal) combination.  Brittney and Lindsay are now adults and quite dysfunctional too thank you very much.  During the time Brittney was bald and beating up paparazzi with umbrellas all I could think was, "Where is this poor girls mother?"  

Birttney and Lindsay have been working full time since they were children and with their parents acting as their managers and I'm sure drawing a salary from their children's earnings based on that title.  If that's not a conflict of interest I don't know what is.  Some may argue that we don't know the details of their 'financial relationships' but I think we can easily see that Dinah Lohan now has her own reality show based on the fact that her child is a talented star.....not her.  If she wasn't the mother of Lindsay I think it's safe to say she'd make a fabulous nail technician and town gossip back on Long Island.

In a surprising turn of events, a Texas state appeals court ruled yesterday that the officials of the State Department of Family and Protective Services illegally seized 468 children from the polygamist ranch they called home. Although the court's decision only directly applies to the kids of at least 38 of the 200 mothers and fathers involved in the case, the ruling gives all of the families reason to believe they may eventually be reunited with their children. There is speculation, though, that some of the kids will be removed from foster care and placed with their parents in as little as 10 days.

According to the court, the raid in April was illegal, because the state failed to prove that the children were in immediate danger, which is the only grounds in Texas for removing children from their parents' care without court approval. The court also concluded that the state department did not provide sufficient evidence that any more than five teenage girls were being sexually or physically abused.

What do you think of the ruling? Do you agree that the state was out of line in taking the children from their parents? Is the abuse of only five teenage girls insufficient proof that all of the children are in immediate danger? Do you think the children are better off living in foster care or living on the polygamist ranch with their families? Share your thoughts about the latest events in the largest custody case in American history.

--Victoria Loustalot, Real-Time Associate Producer

My college son—and his laundry—will be resuming residence under our roof for two months, starting sometime this weekend. “You must be looking forward to having your boy back for the summer,” remarked one of my colleagues today. And I am, I really am.

But if we’re being really honest here, I am having mixed feelings about resuming the whole dinner thing. I’ve gotten—how can I say it—a bit lax in my efforts to produce wholesome evening meals on a regular basis. But I do like cooking for my strapping young man because he’s such an appreciative audience, unlike some other male I live with. When I’ve whipped up something positively gourmet, The Hubby inevitably comes home still full from a big lunch. And the days I skip the dinner prep? Naturally, he’s starved…and grumpy about the tunafish sandwich default menu.

 

Ok, so I stole the infamous line from Donny Deutsch himself, but there REALLY has to be a better way to...food shop.

I just can't bear it. In this modern day and age, where time is so limited, who has the patience to get to the supermarket, traipse up and down aisle after aisle, picking and choosing your products (step 1). Trying to place them just so in your cart to make the most of the space one has (forget it if you have one or more children with you!) (step 2). Finally after an hour or so picking the food and items out, placing them in the cart, we now have to load it onto that dirty and yucky belt (step 3). Watching as each item is scanned appropriately through the electric scanner. Ugh...I have so much produce, which adds another 5 minutes onto the process. Finding the sticker with the code. Right, it's not there on most. So the high schooler needs to thumb through the book to find the proper barcode information.
I try and watch the dollar amount on the screen, because I know they are screwing me out of some type of sale that they've advertised. But I simply can't do that because I want to pack my bags, because if I don't than you know they'll either be too heavy or not heavy enough so that unpacking at the house is even more torturous.

The scanning is all done. Step 4...Now the hurry up and pack the rest of the item phase comes in. The scanner person starts trying to help me finish the bags, but with my OCD issues, I simply can't have it. She's messing up my whole process.

I pay the girl, of course an inordinate amount of money since everything in the economy is out of control. Pack the bags way above and beyond the means of the cart and start pushing to my car. 
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In Eastern Europe, as many as 60 percent of young adults live with their parents, but in the States, there has long been a stigma associated with living under your parents' roof after a certain age. That, however, may be starting to change. Since 1980, the number of children in their 20s sharing their parents' homes has risen 5 percent. It's true that economic factors have contributed to this shift in American family dynamics, but psychologists believe there's also a cultural shift at play. Because of careers and the demands of running a household, many parents of young adults regret that they were largely absent when their children were young. Consequently, they're trying to make up for it now by encouraging their kids to return home after college, save money and take their time figuring out what they want to do with their lives.

Children in their 20s aren't the only ones coming home, however. More and more middle-aged kids are returning to their childhood bedrooms as well. With a shoddy job market and a pitiful economy, many adults in their 40s and 50s are being forced to reconsider their independence and privacy after suffering divorces and layoffs. And parents say they're happy to be there for their kids, no matter what their age.

But at what cost? Accountants warn their clients that they shouldn't bend over backwards to accommodate their adult children's financial needs at the expense of their own financial security. Are you prepared to take care of your children years, and maybe even decades, after they enter adulthood? Instead of adjusting to an empty nest, how do you feel about the possibility that your children may see your home as an "open nest"? Should we do as the Europeans do, or should we stick with the good old-fashioned American mentality of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps? Share your thoughts.

--Victoria Loustalot, Real-Time Associate Producer

I don't think so but so many parents of Lily's male classmates seem to differ.  I think both sexes pose their own difficulties at different ages.  I have witnessed boys in the playground after school fighting more often and more seriously than the girls (literally pummeling each other) but I've also known girls who can hold a grudge for months over the slightest infraction (MY NIECE) or parents of teenage girls worrying about the very real threat of teen pregnancy (my neighbors).  Our niece, Emma, didn't talk to another girl in her class for 6 months because the little girl farted next to her.  Emma claimed she did it deliberately.  Can you imagine?!   

The college kids have been drifting home for awhile now; some institutes of higher learning ended their spring semesters as far back as March.

A handy parental rule of thumb: the more tuition you pay, the fewer days your young scholar will actually be in attendance. Just a handy tip.

For years I've been telling Lily not to write on the walls only to have our contractor, Bob the Builder, do the opposite.  I tried explaining this one but she wasn't buying it.  She told him he was naughty and that if he did it again he'd get a time out or that she'd take away his favorite video.  You go girl.

In an effort to sell our triplex in Brooklyn, we're currently updating the walls and electrical fixtures.  We're into our second week of construction already, it's Tuesday morning 9:07am - none of the workmen are here yet and I'm ready to rip my eyes out.  And yes, my contractor is named Bob.  Every time he walks in the door I find myself humming that theme song.

Here are some pix of how it looks at the moment (I keep telling myself it's going to be fabulous when it's all finished):

Before and after the birth of a new baby, parents spend countless hours agonizing over the baby products they should buy: Which crib is the best? Which car seat has the highest safety rating? Then there is the question of whether mom will breast feed or opt to give her baby formula. For some moms who decide not to breast feed, organic formula is the obvious choice. It's organic, so that means it's better, right? Not necessarily.

Most organic formula brands like Earth's Best and Parent's Choice supplement their recipes with organic lactose in place of sugar. Similac Organic, however, uses cane sugar, otherwise known as sucrose. This means that Similac Organic is also much sweeter than the other formulas. So far, babies on Similac Organic haven't exhibited any health problems, but many pediatricians remain concerned. Sucrose is likely to harm tooth enamel, and according to studies, it also encourages babies to overeat, which can lead to rapid weight gain in their first year of life and be a precursor for childhood obesity a few years down the road.

The hard part is that because babies and children almost always prefer the sweetest foods, once an infant has been introduced to sucrose it can be extremely difficult to switch her to a less sweet formula. What's more, the infant is more likely to resist solid foods that aren't as sweet as the formula she's grown accustomed to.

Making healthy choices for your baby can be overwhelming. Let iVillage help:

Feed your infant well
Nutritional guidelines for babies
Everything you need to know about starting your baby on solid foods

--Victoria Loustalot, Real-Time Associate Producer

Isn't this the cutest?  Seeing this piglet nuzzled so peacefully against his mama in sweet slumber almost makes me forget how much I love bacon. 

This mama piggie had 8 piglets in her litter!  Unlike any of those crazy, kid-filled families on the Discovery Channel though no one is offering her her own show.....at least that we know of.  But who knows?  With the trend being tasteless, trashy peeps on all those reality shows (Flavor Of Love, Real Housewives of New York City, etc.) these pigs might be the cleanest thing out there.

I was a volunteer chaperone on Lily's Kindergarten class trip to Green Meadows Farm this week in Queens, NY.  Our city kids had a fabulous time: milking cows; collecting eggs; going on hay rides; and generally torturing all the cute baby animals.  Lily is no Jeffrey Dahmer but oh my goodness she can be rough with baby bunnies....good thing I was there.  There were some tears...and not just because I forgot my Claritin.  Her teachers are truly underpaid.  Here are some adorable snaps:

The heartbreaking suicide of 13-year-old Megan Meier in 2006 came after she believed she had been rejected by her MySpace friend, "Josh Evans." In reality, Josh Evans never existed. According to officials, Lori Drew, the mother of a former friend of Megan's, actually created the Josh Evans MySpace account. Drew is accused of using the character of Josh to make contact with Megan, write her sexually-loaded messages, and eventually, send her nasty and threatening notes via the social networking site. After receiving just such a note from "Josh," which claimed the world would be a better place without her in it, Megan took her own life.

And now, after many months of speculation as well as new safety regulations on MySpace, Lori Drew has been charged with one count of conspiracy and three counts of accessing a computer without authorization to obtain information in order to inflict emotional distress.

Many feel that Drew, who was 48 when she allegedly created the Josh Evans profile, was maliciously picking on Megan for no other reason than the fact that Megan and Drew's daughter had recently had a falling out. Arguments between 13-year-old girls is nothing new; in fact, such disputes are practically a rite of passage. And for almost as long as tween girls have been bickering, their mothers have been getting involved. As a parent, it is incredibly difficult to stay out of it when you daughter comes home upset. You want to defend your child, and you're most likely going to be furious with anyone who makes your child feel bad. But there is a big difference between trying to defend your child and viciously attacking someone else's kid.

Few would argue that if Lori Drew did create the MySpace account of Josh Evans, she went too far. But is it ever OK to get involved in your children's disputes with their friends? Do you try to stay out of it completely or do you find yourself intervening? Share your thoughts, and then take our internet safety quiz.

--Victoria Loustalot, Real-Time Associate Producer

Yes, no, maybe, sometimes but not always. Put it this way, my 'balancing act' is constantly shifting to accomodate daily life.  I gotta tell ya, as a working mother, I'm so sick and tired of people constantly telling me how easy it is to balance career and family.  Personally, I have found that the key to having a career and family is constant negotiation and adjusting one's goals to reality (and a great babysitter).  I call it, living a life of lowered expectations.  I'm sure someone is going to read this and say, you're wrong, it's easy and that they've got it all down.  Good.  Good for them.  Recently, I read an article on AOL that offered the latest input on the four (overly simplified) simple steps to balancing career and family.   Here they are: 

1. Incorporate telecommuting into your workday.

Many companies allow their employees to work from home one or more days per week, which is an easy way for you to spend more time in the morning and afternoon with your children rather than in standstill traffic. Check with your human resources department and employee manual to see if telecommuting is an option. Of course, to telecommute you should be self-disciplined and able to get your work done even though the boss isn't leaning over your shoulder.

-- Have these people actually tried working at home??  It ain't easy.  I'm a professional writer and I do most of my writing in the wee hours of the night when everyone's asleep.  (There goes my sleep and my sex life - good thing I don't work in an office or I'd be exhausted, frustrated and snapping at everyone all day.)  Have you ever tried talking on the phone when your kids are around?  If you think that's hard try creating a presentation with them in the next room.  Good luck with all of that.

Just got my June issue of O Magazine. Now I’m a HUGE fan of the Divine Ms. O but I have a serious bone to pick with her as a 1) woman and 2) magazine editor. The cover line of her latest issue screams: “We’re starting a beauty revolution! (Say bye-bye to feeling bad about how you look).”

Alas, it runs alongside an airbrushed-to-the-teeth glamour shot of the mag's perennial cover model, Oprah herself. So, here’s my question for the interview queen: If you’re starting this whole "feel good about your look" revolution, why hide behind all the airbrushing (not to mention the de rigueur professional hair, make-up, and styling help)? Isn't that just a tad hypocritical? And doesn't it send the wrong message: that we still need help to look good?

We know that model and celeb pix are heavily doctored. Et tu, Oprah?

Note to Oprah’s Peeps: If I’m wrong about the cover pix airbrushing, please let me know and I’ll stand corrected. Or, better yet, I’ll volunteer myself to be photographed like the “real” people in the issue’s before and after feature. These real beauty role models are shown as they look when they wake up au naturel in the AM and then after they’ve done the whole makeup-and-hair thing. Kudos to them all!

 

A (belated) shout out to my fellow sisters-in-maternal-employ.