Are Parents Really Harder on Their Firstborn Children?
Maybe being born first isn't all it's cracked up to be, after all. According to a new study from Johns Hopkins University, parents are frequently much harder on their eldest child than they are on their other kids. The study found that firstborns who drop out of school are 20 percent less likely to receive most of their income from their parents than younger siblings in the same situation. Additionally, firstborn daughters who get pregnant as teenagers are 30 percent less likely to receive significant financial support from their parents than younger female siblings in the same situation.
The researchers believe that parents punish firstborns more severely as a means of setting an example for their younger children. But the study also found that this might not be all bad news. Firstborns are typically more reliable and conscientious, because for most of their lives they have been held to a higher standard than their younger brothers and sisters.
What do you think? Do you agree with the study's findings? Were they true in your household when you were growing up? What about now? Are you harder on your eldest child? Is your firstborn more responsible? Share your thoughts, and then check out our Birth Order Compatibility Tool.
-- Victoria Loustalot, Real-Time Associate Producer
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That's not how it worked when i was growing up. My oldest sibling, 23 years old, still lives at home with mom and dad. She also can not handle her own money...when she gets her check she gives it to dad and he decides what goes in savings and what she can spend. This came about because dad had to bail her out of three problems with money within two months. My middle sister and I , 22 & 21 years old, live on our own make our own finacial decisions and have never had to be bailed out of a money problem. My oldest sister acts like a 14 year old and i believe my parents let her get away with more than me and my middle sister while we were growing up.
i think that has more to do with your parents not making the same mistakes with the younger children than it does with them being harder on the older sibling. I am the eldest and i know that my little sister thinks that my mother was harder on her and yet i know that she was allowed to do things at a much earlier age than me and was allowed to do things i was never allowed to do. Part of the difference comes from a 10 year age gap. But i promise that if you talk to your parents they will agree that they did not focus as much on teaching finacial responsiblity to the eldest as they did to you.
I agree. I'm aware that I'm much harder on my first born. I do realize it has something to do with setting an example for her younger sibling. Maybe I should cut her some slack- but I see her thriving under pressure.
I was the youngest in my family and my oldest sibling got it worse, too. My parents let me make all sorts of mistakes they wouldn't have tolerated from her.
I am the oldest of two and my parents certainly tolerated more from my sibling than me. I was expected to have exemplary grades while my younger sib they let slide with C's. I competed in a lot of extracurricular activities and remember my parents being disappointed if I was second or third place and not first. My younger sibling bounced around from activity to activity that my parents paid for ,never mastering any of them. I also recall that while I was expected not to follow the crowd or desire trendy clothes or be popular; my younger sibling was allowed a lot more social freedom and my parents indulged him by allowing him to have designer clothing and participate in social activities. As a result I became the overachiever who does not handle failure well and I am not quite as socially adept as my younger sibling. I am more independent and have quite a few accolades on paper but at quite an emotional cost in some cases. In fact i made far more mistakes from trying to live up to my parents standards than my sibling did despite the fact my parents were more permissive with him. Frankly he's much happier and more well adjusted in a lot of ways than I am.
I am the oldest of two and my parents certainly tolerated more from my sibling than me. I was expected to have exemplary grades while my younger sib they let slide with C's. I competed in a lot of extracurricular activities and remember my parents being disappointed if I was second or third place and not first. My younger sibling bounced around from activity to activity that my parents paid for ,never mastering any of them. I also recall that while I was expected not to follow the crowd or desire trendy clothes or be popular; my younger sibling was allowed a lot more social freedom and my parents indulged him by allowing him to have designer clothing and participate in social activities. As a result I became the overachiever who does not handle failure well and I am not quite as socially adept as my younger sibling. I am more independent and have quite a few accolades on paper but at quite an emotional cost in some cases. In fact i made far more mistakes from trying to live up to my parents standards than my sibling did despite the fact my parents were more permissive with him. Frankly he's much happier and more well adjusted in a lot of ways than I am.
I am the oldest of two and my parents certainly tolerated more from my sibling than me. I was expected to have exemplary grades while my younger sib they let slide with C's. I competed in a lot of extracurricular activities and remember my parents being disappointed if I was second or third place and not first. My younger sibling bounced around from activity to activity that my parents paid for ,never mastering any of them. I also recall that while I was expected not to follow the crowd or desire trendy clothes or be popular; my younger sibling was allowed a lot more social freedom and my parents indulged him by allowing him to have designer clothing and participate in social activities. As a result I became the overachiever who does not handle failure well and I am not quite as socially adept as my younger sibling. I am more independent and have quite a few accolades on paper but at quite an emotional cost in some cases. In fact i made far more mistakes from trying to live up to my parents standards than my sibling did despite the fact my parents were more permissive with him. Frankly he's much happier and more well adjusted in a lot of ways than I am.
I am the oldest of two and my parents certainly tolerated more from my sibling than me. I was expected to have exemplary grades while my younger sib they let slide with C's. I competed in a lot of extracurricular activities and remember my parents being disappointed if I was second or third place and not first. My younger sibling bounced around from activity to activity that my parents paid for ,never mastering any of them. I also recall that while I was expected not to follow the crowd or desire trendy clothes or be popular; my younger sibling was allowed a lot more social freedom and my parents indulged him by allowing him to have designer clothing and participate in social activities. As a result I became the overachiever who does not handle failure well and I am not quite as socially adept as my younger sibling. I am more independent and have quite a few accolades on paper but at quite an emotional cost in some cases. In fact i made far more mistakes from trying to live up to my parents standards than my sibling did despite the fact my parents were more permissive with him. Frankly he's much happier and more well adjusted in a lot of ways than I am.
Very true. I am a mother of two sons and I am really harder on the older one. I was very conscious about his growth as a child and I tried to teach him things too early. I was very protective and wanted to make all his decisions. But by the time i had my second son i realised that a child, if given some space, can teach himself a lot and can grow up to be smart and sociable. But still its very difficult for me to change my ways with my first son. Everyday i try harder to correct myself and give him a lot of space to think for himself and grow up without stress.