Motherhood shouldn’t be isolating and no mom should have to do the work alone. And yet, for many moms, isolation can creep in, perhaps in just wondering if there’s something flawed about how they are raising their kids. Without the words, “You’re good enough,” and “Trust your gut,” uttered by my inner circle of mom-friends, life would be a lot poorer.

These women, whom I found on a Brooklyn Internet message board, form an important part of my “momtourage.” Over the past five years, we have talked each other through long moments of financial, marital and parental panic. Between the six families in the group, we’ve survived threats—real and imagined—of bankruptcy, landlord/tenant court, job layoffs, medical insurance running out and marital separation. And between six women, we’ve also celebrated four new babies, a few new jobs, jewelry shows, new plays, stories and poems, many of which have been published.

My Lifeline

As mothers who balance kids, careers and family, we call our group the “Birthing Room” – a place to meet both in person and via email – where we can figure out how to take the next small step towards old and new goals, lofty or seemingly mundane. One week Rahti and Judi arrange an “organizing swap,” where they visit each other’s homes and dig each other out from under the clutter. It’s a step closer to Rahti’s goal of finishing that play she started six months ago and to Judi’s of musing over a color group for a new jewelry series she’s been trying to start. Whether it’s supporting each other with childcare, household chores or listening to a new idea to make money or fulfill a creative passion, this group is a lifeline. In fact, the group’s founder, Rahti Gorfien, was so inspired by its success, that she is now a professional artist life coach.

Once I had kids, I had to find space in my crowded life for what fed my soul. I had originally come to New York, via Canada and Switzerland, to study poetry. The other five women in the “Birthing Room” demanded that I strategize ways to steal back an hour or two each week for poetry, whether to write it, read it or send it to publishers. As a result, I’ve miraculously found a publisher for the first book of poems and I’m halfway toward finishing a second manuscript. But the Birthing Room bolstered more than my creative goals. When I was worried about my first son’s high lead levels and speech delay, the group kept me sane.

The Juggling Act

My boys are nearly four and six now, and I work full-time at iVillage while my husband is a stay-at-home dad, a flip from how we began raising our family. It’s an arrangement that evolved as his work as a sound editor dried up with changes in the entertainment industry, and mine, as an editor and writer, picked up steam on the Internet. Our life is a daily juggling act between my commute to work, school drop-offs and pickups, buying groceries and doing shifts at the Park Slope Food Coop, cooking, household chores and Goodnight Moon.

We’re doing fine and everyone’s healthy, but at a time when food and gas prices are skyrocketing and the economy is sputtering, our position feels precarious. Like the majority of American families, we know trouble is only a job-loss away. “Don’t borrow trouble,” my momtourarge reminds me, and I’m able to relax again, even if only for a day or so. If we experience our lives navigating the collision of our circumstances and choices, we make ourselves more agile by connecting with others.

Last week, when my five-year old asked, “is there a kid’s day?” I of course said, “well, that’s every day,” (even though there is a Universal Children’s Day, it gets little public recognition).  As mothers find each other on the Web and share their stories, concerns and advice, Mother’s Day could become a day like any other too.