According to a recent story on ABCNews, psychologists say lying to children about their adoption can cause depression, anxiety, or relationship issues. Since lying to your child about anything has the ability to cause levels of distrust, this connection seems plausible. However, the story brings up two greater issues: When is the right time and how is the best way to tell your child that they were adopted?

What do you think? Is it OK to lie to kids about their adoption? Did you wait until a certain age before telling your child he or she was adopted? How did you decide? Did your child ask you before you had a chance to figure it out?

• Get advice and share your experience with other parents on the adoption message board
• Show your little one how much you love having him in your life with one of these ideas
• Get more adoption resources

--Daniel Halperin, Health Producer

An interesting segment from NBC's Today show... Mommy blogs! Top mommy blogger Heather Armstrong joined  Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford for a look at what mothers share online. Take a look at the video below or click here. Moms used to meet on the playgrounds or chat on the phone, but now moms are connecting online through blogs. NBC's Janet Shamlian  talked to three moms who have made a living blogging about their love life, careers and thoughts on motherhood.

What do you think?  Are you a part of the blogosphere?

Maybe being born first isn't all it's cracked up to be, after all. According to a new study from Johns Hopkins University, parents are frequently much harder on their eldest child than they are on their other kids. The study found that firstborns who drop out of school are 20 percent less likely to receive most of their income from their parents than younger siblings in the same situation. Additionally, firstborn daughters who get pregnant as teenagers are 30 percent less likely to receive significant financial support from their parents than younger female siblings in the same situation.

The researchers believe that parents punish firstborns more severely as a means of setting an example for their younger children. But the study also found that this might not be all bad news. Firstborns are typically more reliable and conscientious, because for most of their lives they have been held to a higher standard than their younger brothers and sisters.

What do you think? Do you agree with the study's findings? Were they true in your household when you were growing up? What about now? Are you harder on your eldest child? Is your firstborn more responsible? Share your thoughts, and then check out our Birth Order Compatibility Tool.

• Sandwiched In Between: Parenting the Middle Child
• The Oldest Child Is Smarter…So Says the Research

-- Victoria Loustalot, Real-Time Associate Producer

Disney's "Hannah Montana" star, Miley Cyrus, is everywhere. She's on TV and in magazines, and her image is on billboards, T-shirts and even backpacks and pencils. And soon, she's going to be in the June issue of Vanity Fair. Shot by the famous photographer Annie Leibovitz, the 15 year old posed coyly holding a silk sheet against her chest so that she appears nude. Although Cyrus claims that she was wearing a tank top beneath the sheet, parents across America aren't happy.

To make matters worse, the Vanity Fair controversy is not the first time sexy images of Cyrus have surfaced. Last week, snapshots of the star flashing her underwear and sitting provocatively on her then-boyfriend's lap hit the internet. Over 3 million girls mostly between the ages of 6 and 14 routinely tune in to watch Cyrus on "Hannah Montana," and many parents have come to see the star as the last female role model who their daughters can look up to. Now, however, they fear she's going the way of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan before her.

What do you think? Do the recent pictures of Miley Cyrus make you question her respectability? How do you feel about your daughter idolizing the teen star? Are you planning on discussing the photos with your daughter? Share your thoughts.

--Victoria Loustalot, Real-Time Associate Producer  

Finally, a bit of good news for American parents and their children! A new study being released today reports that the well-being of American children increased by almost 10 percent between 1994 and 2006. The study credits improved government programs as well as better parenting for the encouraging statistics. Mortality rates for children between the ages of one and four are down by a third, and homicide rates are down even more—they've decreased by 50 percent. Fewer mothers are smoking during their pregnancies and the number of sixth graders who fear being attacked or harmed at school has declined 36 percent. In addition, the report found that more parents are limiting the amount of television their children watch and are also reading to their kids more frequently. Even lead poisoning is on the decline; the number of children who tested positive for elevated levels of lead is down 84 percent.

Although the researchers behind the report acknowledge that some trends remain alarming, such as the increase in childhood obesity and low-birth-weight babies, they also agree that the new findings give families much to celebrate.

What do you think? Do you agree that the overall quality of life for children in this country has improved? Are you glad you're raising your kids now rather than 14 years ago? Share your thoughts!

--Victoria Loustalot, Real-Time Associate Producer 

If you were going to have plastic surgery, how would you talk to your kids about it?

According to Newsweek, Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a board-certified plastic surgeon in Bal Harbour, Fla, suggests that you use his picture book, "My Beautiful Mommy", out this Mother's Day.

The book, aimed at kids ages four to seven, features a perky, Barbie-like mother who explains to her child that she's getting a nose job and tummy tuck to make herself feel better and to fit back into her clothing post-pregnancy. (Apparently, the illustrations also show Mommy’s breasts getting noticeably larger, but no one talks about that.) In the end, her daughter believes that her mommy looks "even more" beautiful than before.

I agree that parents should talk to their kids if they undergo surgery. Salzhauer points out that it can be scary for a child to see a parent come home in bandages and often times, surgery can put you out of parenting commission for a few days. However, the book could also perpetuate body image issues -- kids will think their own body parts must need "fixing" too.

What is your take on the issue? iVillage moms have been on the fence about mommy makeovers before—some are all for it, some are against it. What would you do and would you use this book to talk to your kids about it?

The classic baby book has a whole new look. According to an article on MSNBC yesterday, "What to Expect When You're Expecting" just released its largely rewritten, fourth edition, complete with an updated, chic woman on the cover. (See below for before and after pictures.)

However, the article questions whether the revamp is enough. Not only are there hundreds of other baby books, “but there's also the big wide Web world out there, and it's not just all those sites offering medical information. This is the age of the message board, where a woman who has a strange ache or pain at 3 a.m. can fire off a cyber-question: "Late-night cramps at 5 months pg, dh asleep, what do i do?" Answers come within moments.”

At iVillage, we have just that. You can track your pregnancy progress day by day with the Pregnancy Calendar, find a name for your baby-to-be with the Baby Name Finder, keep your style up to date with maternity style tips and talk to other women due the same month you are by joining an Expecting Club.

As a person who grew up using the internet as my main source of information, I can’t imagine looking anywhere else for pregnancy tools and information. But what is your preference? What did you use for your pregnancy—books or the Web?

For most parents, the safety and well-being of their children is absolutely paramount. They will spend any amount of money necessary and do anything and everything humanly possible to protect their kids. Which is why the recent and tragic deaths of two young girls have struck such a nerve with so many moms and dads.

 

In Oregon, a 15-month-old named Ava died earlier this month after her parents chose to treat her pneumonia with prayer instead of antibiotics. Now, Ava’s parents are being charged with manslaughter. Meanwhile, in Wisconsin, 11-year-old Madeline Neumann died from diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA). DKA, which left too little insulin in her body, is highly treatable with proper medical care. Her parents, however, chose to pray for their daughter’s recovery rather than seek medical attention for her. The police have announced that they’re investigating Madeline’s death in order to determine whether or not her parents should be held responsible.

 

But many parents in the iVillage community have already drawn their own conclusions, arguing fervently that Madeline’s parents failed in their most important duty as parents—protecting their child. They failed, and Madeline paid the price. Member lilpeanut2007 writes: “It is one thing for parents to choose prayer over medicine for themselves, but I do not believe they have the right to subject their child to the same belief system. She depended on them to take care of her and they did not do that. It is negligent, and I do believe they should be charged accordingly.” Member mommydesire62777 agrees that Madeline’s parents should be held accountable and feels especially strong about the sentence they deserve: “I hope they get charged with murder!”

There’s a new online game in town, and it isn’t pretty. The virtual fashion game, called “Miss Bimbo,” is aimed at girls between the ages of 7 and 17. The game’s Web site explains that players compete against one another to become the “hottest, coolest, most fabulous bimbo in the whole world.” But according to the male web designer who created it, the game actually teaches girls how to take care of their bimbos. That’s a hard sell, especially when players are encouraged to get plastic surgery and diet pills for their bimbos. Of course becoming the most fabulous bimbo in the world isn’t cheap; that’s why successful players seek out wealthy virtual boyfriends.

Unsurprisingly, many parents, like member mrst_plus_nute, are outraged: “UGH! I hate garbage like this! As if there isn't enough pressure on women to conform to an already unattainable social image. How are young women ever going to learn to be functioning, contributing members of society if their lives are dedicated to trying to reach some imaginary image of perfection?”

Member countrygoddess2008 is also upset and believes the stereotypes perpetuated by the game contribute to the explosion of eating disorders among girls and young women: “This is the exact reason that women develop eating disorders … I’m hoping to raise my kids to realize that as long as you are healthy it doesn't matter what size you are. Our society is vain.”

Let's hear it for the men!

It’s not often we women get to say that, but according to an MSNBC story, men are slowly getting better at helping with housework and child care.

The Council on Contemporary Families found that, since the ‘60s, men’s contribution to housework has doubled and the time they spend on child care has tripled.

And not only does chore sharing save time, but according to Joshua Coleman, a San Francisco-area psychologist, it also allows for a happier marriage and more frequent sex.

If that doesn’t convince your husband to pitch in, I don’t know what will.

How does your husband help out around the house? Does more chore sharing equal more lovin’ in your home? Tell us!

 

• Husband doesn’t help out? You’re not alone

• 8 ways to get dad more Involved

• Discover Dad’s parenting style

• Catch up on “me” time while your hubby does the laundry
  
  
  

--Allison Busacca, Assistant Producer, Pregnancy and Parenting

While a recent study found that baby shampoos, lotions and powders may expose infants to phthalates, a chemical that has been linked with possible reproductive problems, it remains unclear how harmful the chemical is and how much of it is in the baby products we use. The only conclusion experts can come to is that it's an issue parents should keep an eye on.

According to MSNBC.com, phthalates are used to stabilize fragrances and make plastics flexible. Animal studies have suggested that phthalates can cause reproductive birth defects and some activists believe they may cause reproductive problems in boys and early puberty in girls.

Bottom line: Until we know more about the effects of phthalates, it's not a bad idea to reduce the number of cosmetic products we use on our babies. Try these natural soap-and-water tips to keep your baby clean, phthalate-free.

Take a look at this segment that was on TODAY this morning.  Some companies are helping moms to avoid choosing between working and staying at home by letting them bring their newborns to the office.

Should you bring your baby to work?

Do you think bringing baby to work is a good idea?  Would you bring baby if your company allowed?

TODAY's Meredith Vieira recently posted something interesting on her blog about the fear of clowns:

"A study recently came out of England that found children are afraid of clowns. Researchers from the University of Sheffield were examining how to improve the environment in children’s hospital wards. All 250 patients between the ages of 4 and 16 that were polled said they disliked the use of clowns."

However, as someone who became a "clown doctor" for a day through the outreach program, Clown Care, Meredith said she's seen first-hand how clowns can lift a child's spirit.

"I understand that some kids, and even adults, may be scared of clowns. But this program has visited more than 250,000 sick children and I’d hate to see a study of 250 kids diminish that track record."

Read more from Meredith's blog and tell us what you think. Do clowns help or do they cause fear?

The FDA has officially declared that over-the-counter cough and cold medicines are too risky for babies and toddlers. And while there are plenty of tried-and-true ways to survive the cold and flu season, when it comes to making your child feel better in a crunch, some parents admit they'll still dispense the drug.


How do you treat your baby's cold? What will you do now?

-Allison Busacca, Assistant Producer of Pregnancy and Parenting

With asthma and allergy rates among children continuing to rise, parents and doctors alike are eager to find answers. Two new studies may bring us one step closer to finding a cure for these alarming disorders.

According to a recent study published in the American Journal of Respiratory and Critical Care Medicine young children (under the age of 7) whose mothers suffer from recurring bouts of despair or angst are 25% more likely to develop asthma. Unfortunately, the link between a mother’s chronic stress and her baby’s asthma remains unclear. Researchers hypothesize that anxious or depressed moms may smoke more, ignore their children more often and breastfeed their babies less frequently, all of which can attribute to an asthma diagnosis in children.

Another asthma study conducted in Greece has found an association between a diet rich in fruits, vegetables and fish and a lower risk for both asthma and allergies. The study asserts that the children of pregnant women who practice this Mediterranean diet are far less likely to develop asthma later in life. Additionally, the children of women who ate a large amount of red meat while pregnant were found to have a higher risk of suffering from asthma and allergies.

The scientists behind both of these studies acknowledge that additional research is necessary in order to more fully understand their findings. Other doctors and scientists admit that the results of these studies may have some validity. However, they remain skeptical and are wary about attaching too much significance to them.

• 5 Things Every Parent Should Know About Children's Allergies
• Get the Facts On Childhood Asthma
  
  

What do you think? Do you believe that the emotional and physical state of a pregnant woman has this strong of an impact on the future health of her child? Share your thoughts.

-- Victoria Loustalot, Associate Real Time Producer

I consider myself an internet person. I work for a website. I have more than one social networking profile. I use google as a verb. And yet I am still unnerved when I peruse my younger relatives' profiles. I am amazed at how scandalously they portray themselves and at how many personal details they reveal. They still roll their eyes when I preach about the danger of being online.

Next week, MySpace will enact new safety regulations designed to protect underage users from predators:

• Anyone under the age of 14 will not be allowed to create a profile
• The profiles of 14 and 15 year olds will default to private, meaning anyone over the age of 18 must know the user's first and last name or their e-mail address to make contact. Previously any stranger could reach out to any teen on MySpace.
  
• All users will be able to make their profile private or choose only to have partial profiles viewed by strangers.
  

And while this is a step in the right direction, it's not enough. Most other social networking sites have similar regulations already, and users still lie about their age, both to gain access to a site and in their actual profile. Plus, any regulations that a networking site implements could easily be defeated by the next tech genius that comes along.

So in the end, it comes down to people like you and me, who are willing to keep having that difficult conversation about cyber-safety.

To help get the conversation started, try these two quizzes:

• Internet Safety Quiz for Kids: Have your kids take this quiz to test their Cyberspace safety knowledge.
• Internet Safety Quiz for Adults: Check your Internet safety knowledge with this quiz.

Do you think these new regulations will work? Who is ultimately responsible for internet safety, parents or the social networks? What tips or suggestions do you have for other moms?

--Allison Busacca, Assistant Producer, Pregnancy and Parenting

Take a look at what happened to an iVillage mom this week:

"I just went on an interview. I have years experience, and it was going great. He said he loves my qualifications. And then, I kid you not, he sort of leaned forward and asked if I had any children. WHICH IS ILLEGAL. Anyway, I said yes, three but one is in school and one is about to be in school. He said if it weren't for the children I would be an excellent candidate. He said children get sick too much, or he might call me to work a Sat. and I'll want to attend a sporting event.  He said, "How can you have a career when you have children." I was so angry I was seeing red when I left that office. Please tell me I'm in the year 2008, somebody!"

Get 40 Mom-Tested Tips for Balancing Work and Family

Does staying at home or going to work affect the kids?

So moms, let's hear it. What would you have said to this potential employer? How would you have handled this situation?

--Allison Busacca, Assistant Producer, Pregnancy and Parenting

All it took was an ad in The Des Moines Register for one mom to become the “meanest mom on the planet.”

After finding alcohol in her 19-year-old son's car, Jane Hambleton decided to sell the car via a detailed newspaper ad that read: “OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don't love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet."

CNN quotes Hambleton saying, “It's overwhelming the number of calls I've gotten from people saying 'Thank you, it's nice to see a responsible parent.' So far there are no calls from anyone saying, 'You're really strict. You're real overboard, lady."”

Take this quiz to find out what kind of parent you are. Do you have trouble saying “no” to your kids or are you a mean mommy?

Did this mom take it too far or was she justified in her discipline tactics? What's the craziest thing you've done to teach your kid a lesson?

-Allison Busacca, Assistant Producer of Pregnancy and Parenting

In the four short days since the New Year began, baby news has been piling into my inbox.

On Jan. 1, Kyle and Becky Armstrong welcomed Gettysburg Hospital's first baby of the year for the second time in a row. Their daughter, Faith Lynn Armstrong arrived on at 5:23 a.m. New Year's Day. Her sister, Kaden Skye, was the hospital's first baby in 2007—also born on Jan. 1.

Want to have your own New Year's baby? Plan ahead with the Due Date Calculator.

There's also been buzz around a story on CNN, where, following the birth of their child, parents suffer namer's remorse and change their child's name. And while changing a minors name is legal, it takes hours of paperwork and phone calls.

Start exploring baby names now with the Baby Name Finder. Get insight into name trends with the the Baby Name Voyager.

We're sure you’ve all heard the news by now: 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears, younger sister of Britney Spears, is pregnant. Jamie Lynn, the star of Nickelodeon's "Zoey 101", said she plans to raise the baby at home in Louisiana—"so it can have a normal family life."

Coincidently, according to People.com, Lynne Spears's book about raising her famous daughters Britney and Jamie Lynn has been put on hold. Publishers Marketplace describes the book as "Lynne Spears's personal story of raising high-profile children while coming from a low-profile Louisiana community." The book was set to be published in spring 2008.

Take a look at this segment from the Today Show. Priscilla Dunstan, a mom from Australia, says she has discovered the meaning behind a baby's unique cries. Click below to watch the video:

What does your baby's cry really mean?

So, what do you think? Can you tell what your baby needs by his or her unique cries?

Quick Quiz:

• Does your child normally get all As and Bs?
• Does your child have good behavior?
• Does your child have two or less absences in school?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions (and you live in Florida) your child could receive a coupon for a free Happy Meal.

According to the Orlando Sentinel, recent school report cards in Seminole County have a promotion from McDonald's restaurants printed on the side, encouraging kids to get free fast food as a reward for good grades. (see image below)

Mothers and stress seems to be an unavoidable combination. Either you're stressing about