Just want to give you the heads up that the family centric comedy show Mama's Night Out will be returning to Maine for a special, one night only performance on Thursday, July 10th, at Deer Trees Theatre in Harrison, Maine.  Mama's Night Out is my comedy momtourage or com-tourage starring Karen Morgan, Nancy Witter and moi. 

We all met and became great friends while filming the first season of Nick At Nite's SEARCH FOR THE FUNNIEST MOM IN AMERICA.  After that taping wrapped, we put together our own show and we've been touring to sold out crowds across the country. 

Mama's Night Out is comedy by mothers for everyone.  Hope to see you there.

Lily graduated from Kindergarten on Tuesday.  It was a lovely ceremony.  They sang songs that all contained a graduation theme or the lyrics were altered to suit the occassion like instead of the Marine Corp march, "I don't know, but I've been told...."  they sang "Kindergarten is all done first grade here we come".  It was just precious.   I found myself weeping often during the ceremony, I was quiet about it I didn't make a scene, but I was quite emotional....so were other mothers too.

It's sad to think Lily's baby days are really just a memory now.  She looked so grown up on that stage until she started picking her nose.  She brought the house down when they handed her her certificate of completion.  She turned to the audience and did a deep bow and waved to the crowd like she was on American Idol, it was very 'vote for me'.....and she's never even seen that show.  It's easy to see Lily comes from a show biz family.

I went to a baby shower this weekend.  I was a little disgusted and surprised when I received the invitation as the mother-to-be is not a first time mom and her first child is only 4.  It was weird.  I had the strangest sense of deja vu as I can even remember what I gave her for her first shower.  This is her second child but she's expecting a girl this time so her family felt compelled to have yet another one for her.  They were kind of aware they were pushing the limits of taste too as they called it a Baby Sprinkle.  They just should have called it what it was, "Another Opportunity For Someone Else To Spend Money On My Children" or  "Oh you're pregnant again, here take my wallet."

This is up there with the people who get divorced and married again but have the nerve to invite their friends to another bridal shower.  I'm like, "Just use the gift I gave you for your first marriage...if you didn't already break it over his head."  Actually, I stand corrected.  Maybe a second bridal shower is appropriate after divorce as he may have taken half her stuff. 

Any rate, back to the second baby shower.  Have you ever heard of such a thing?!  Is this just a New York thing?  People in this state spend $30k on confirmation parties so I guess the new trend of having more than one baby shower per mom per child is not such a stretch.  7 of the 7 women at my table were all surprised too.  In fact, when my friend Carol (also a friend of the mother-to-be) asked the sister-in-law why she was having yet another shower the woman became all defensive and said, "It's the new thing.  Haven't you heard?" 

Have you heard?  Am I behind on this?  What do you think?  I'm a little peeved.  The mom-to-be-again was also very shocked by the shower (and slightly embarrassed), she said to us on the Q.T., "I'm grateful and it's lovely to see everyone again but this isn't my first."

 

Any one who knows me knows that I'm for girls having all the same opportunities as boys.  I'm a comedian for gods sake!  Try breaking through the glass ceiling of that boys club.  I'm definitely for the whole, "You go girl" movement.  I loved the Spice Girls.  I always try to set a good example for my daughter and my niece too by demonstrating that women can do anything that men can do...albeit the physically obvious like peeing standing up (unless they're drag queens).

We went to our friend's son's wrestling tournament the other day.  Much to my surprise and delight girls were participating in every weight class of the match.  However, they didn't have a separate girls league yet because there isn't enough interest.  (Give it time I say, whenever we heard there was a girls league in any sport of any kind when we were growing up we participated and our father encouraged us to.) 

Seeing girls wrestle with boys was just wrong.  It looked like an attack or like we were interrupting something....... 

The only thing better than a summer home is a friend with a summer home.  This is the place our little Brooklyn family hopes to be visiting every weekend this summer.  Yes, we have a pool in our backyard but nothing beats the heat of a summer in the city like a weekend in the country.

Long Island Railroad here we come.

Do you have any plans to get away this summer?

The next time your child needs disciplining forget time outs, the naughty chair, loss of privelages and spanking.  How about taking them on a trip to the cemetary to visit Santa??!! 

I don't know where my friend gets these photos.  She's a mother of 5 girls ranging in ages from 2 to 19.  I imagine when one has that many children that psychological torture is something one would rely on from time to time.

I was extremely proud of Lily this weekend....I'm proud of her everyday but this past Sunday she demonstrated a level of confidence and self assurance that I simply did not possess at age 5.  I grew up in the 70s.  Our parents were and still are completely different than the parents of today.  Let's just say our parents could have used a little sensitivity training.  My mother definitely missed that boat. 

I know my mother loved and still loves me but she has difficulty showing it and saying it.  I'm totally fine with it believe me, I got over it a long, long time ago.  She thinks she's being helpful when she puts us down.  She definitely made me into the comic that I am today.  She actually believes her constant comments about my weight (for almost 10 years) will inspire me to lose it.  Comments like: "Maybe you should just use a shovel."; "You shop at Dress Barn because you're as big as cow."  And like a true comic she doesn't work without an audience, these comments are always in front of groups of people, family, in public places etc.....  However, her comments did not inspire me to join Weight Watchers and lose 20 pounds.  That I did all on my own recently.  A few positive words from her once in a while would be more helpful but that's not going to happen.  Unfortunately, she can't even do that for herself forget others.

We've got another lice outbreak in our school in the Kindergarten wing.  Just thinking about it makes me itch.  I'm trying to keep our 5 year old lice free this school year so we're doing the whole 'up do', hair gel, mousse, hair spray thing.  We've also been advised to not wash her hair as often because the dirtier the scalp and hair the less the lice are able to adhere....for lack of a better term.  Does that really work?  Any suggestions?  Any home rememdies you know of that somehow keep these pesky varmints away??  HELP!!  Please share.

Every day we hear crazy stories on the web.  Today apparently, the trend continues.  This one comes from BBC News.  A 30 year old woman gave birth during a friend's batchlorette party in the UK.....the kicker.....she didn't know she was pregnant.  Ally Ashwell, from Newcastle, was touring the seaside town's pubs and clubs in a bumble-bee outfit when she began to feel unwell. She returned to her hotel room, where the shocked 30-year-old found herself delivering her own baby. 

I hope she left a nice tip for the chamber maid.  How selfish taking the attention away from the bride like that.  What a Bridesmaidzilla.  I bet she's out of the wedding party. 

The fragile 2lb boy - named Owen - is being cared for in the intensive care unit of Blackpool Victoria Hospital.  He's doing well.

How the heck can this happen in this day and age?!  This wasn't an underage girl from a third world country this was a hard drinking, hard partying girl from England in a bee costume!  Maybe that was the problem, maybe she's been partying a little too much.  It's a bear in a bee costume!  That's an inside joke for my girls or momtourage - Mama's Night Out. 

I feel like I'm the only woman left in NYC that hasn't seen SEX IN THE CITY  the movie.  It's opening weekend box office topped $55million according to MSN films, a number that way surpasses the population of all five boroughs.  I'm waiting to see it with my Mama's Night Out momtourage 'cause that's how you're supposed to see this movie...with your girlfriends.  The only problem is, I won't be seeing them till July so until then I'm going to be sexless in the city till then. 

Did you see the movie?  Did you see it with your girlfriends or should we be making whipping sounds followed by meowing cat noises for your husband?  How was it?  Please let me know but don't give away the ending. 

Hey there friends.  Just want to let you know that I'll be in Baltimore this weekend for a taping of the debut of the hot new, theatrical comedy experience:  Divercity:  3 Women, 3 Worlds, 1 Stage.  This is the first theatrical comedy that brings together women of different colors and ethnicities on the same stage.  The ladies of this show are my new Momtourage. 

"Sara Contreras , Meshelle and Sherry Davey (moi) bring to life America's true DIVERCITY.  Politics & Stereotypes all hang in the balance, as this Theatrical Comedy Experience launches with its sights set on celebrating what AMERICA hopes to be on its BEST BEHAVIOR.  With Sara's Latina energy, passion, and wit , Meshelle's undeniable African-American consciousness and charm, and Sherry's British-Jewish-ness with the heart of a Brooklyn-ite, you'll get a full course of music,stand-up, and improvisation served with a dose of red/white/blue boldness that is DIVERCITY!"  If we can laugh together we can live together.

We sat through our first very-over-the-top skating recital for Lily this past Sunday.  By over-the-top I mean 4 year old girls in full make up with their hair professionally quaffed in skimpy little outfits.  Some of the parents even hired professional photographers to capture that special moment on the ice for posterity.  What are these people going to do for these kids' weddings?? 

Anyway, I was so proud of Lily.  At five, she's the youngest in her class but had all the moves down just like the older girls.  However, when it came to show time she froze and just stood there picking her nose...literally.  For 90 seconds of the routine, basically the whole thing, that's all she did.  Oh well.  She's 5 for goodness sake.

OMG!  I was watching CNN this morning and they were going on about the dangers of bunk beds.  Give me a break already!  Enough with the scare tactics and the crappy reporting and looking for stories where there are none.  If you are stupid enough to not properly install a bunk bed and then your child gets hurt then you should put your helmet back on, hop on the short bus and go very very far away.  And if your child hits their head on the bottom of the top bunk believe it or not, he/she will survive.  The fun they have with bunk beds far outweighs the dangers.  I'm surprised that bunk beds don't come with built-in safety straps for our litigious, neurotic society.

Bunk beds are dangerous if they're not installed properly?!  No sh**!  Tell me something I don't know.  So are training wheels and baby gates and other child safety devices.  Beware the dangers of the high chair!  Take a pill please.  I'm surprised the media didn't link bunk beds to terrorism:  Al Qaeda is lurking on the top bunk!