The word of the day is momtourage. At this point you probably know what it means and have been thinking who is in your momtourage circle. When I heard about momtourage.net I thought it was a much needed resource for moms. At every stage of motherhood we need that support group. The moms who have been through it or are going through it and can help us in getting through it.
I started Moms-for-Profit and Hybrid Mom Consulting & Media Group specifically for moms who were going through a specific time of uncertainty in their lives. Did they want to stop working to raise their children?  How would they stay engaged in the business world if they did leave their careers? How would they make some extra money to have the ability to get their nails done or more importantly, pay for groceries that week? Would they want to start a business of their own? If they wanted to, how and where would they find the resources to assist them in the process?

So many questions, and yet every single one of us have gone through this uncertain stage, some may even go through it more than once in their lifetime. 

We are all Hybrid Moms, balancing and managing our every day chaos.  The consummate Hybrid Mom, is a mom who can do it, certainly not perfectly, but who can also appreciate the ridiculousness of the every day AND laugh at it.
Starting, running and growing a business, absolutely has it's ups and downs - if it weren't for the laughs I truthfully do not know where I'd be. I assure you, I wouldn't be continuing to climb this mountain of what we hope to call...success.
The publisher of Hybrid Mom, Meryl, and I, took an unexpected trip to Florida last week. We were following the path to a person who had inquired about investing in the company. Of course we would have to go. If potential money calls - you go.
I book the flights the night before. We're up at 4am and down in Florida by 10. We get there and it's raining. Not just a little, but torrential. I rent a car so we can drive - it's a Kia. One that is manual everything - even that is just funny.
We start on the journey to find the house we need to go to. Through some rough neighborhoods (to say the least). We are lost now however the rain starts to let up. Suddenly we pass a sign of a storefront that says...Mo Money.

As a parent, chances are you've read or heard about other parents dealing with their children lashing out at them "I hate you!"; "I wish you would die" etc.

Being a mother of a 6 year old boy and a 3 year old girl, I always thought...not my kids. They would never. Well...it happened today. My son Shane, yes my 6 year old, spewed. He was angry with me because I was raising my voice and telling him to get up the stairs to get ready for bed. Now mind you, he was beyond tired and didn't want to hear me nagging him, however, it SO didn't give him any right to say what he said..."I hope you die soon!"

My God! I still am devastated.

Like I've said, you hear about this from other people - but I never, thought I would experience it, especially this soon. Am I naive? In denial? Apparently. My little boy has always been such a loving, sweet and considerate child. I am in shock. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with him? Is this normal?

After the bout, he got into his bed. I tucked in my little one and came back to his room. Gave him a kiss on his head and said 'No matter what you say to me, no matter how hurtful or wrong it is, I will always love you." The poor kid started crying and said that he hates himself for saying such a mean thing and that he shouldn't say bad things to mommy and daddy.

Is that the reaction you hope for? I guess. Gosh. I really didn't know how to handle it. You want to smack them upside the head. You want to yell more. You want to cry - well, I did. But you just hope whatever you say and however you handle it, makes them feel loved and understand that they just simply can't say those amazingly hurtful words. Obviously you know they don't really mean it, but wow - it slapped me right in the face.

Not sure if I will ever get over it. 

Have you? I'd love to hear anyone out there who has heard this from their little unappreciative offsprings!

Looking forward to hearing everyone else's devastation!

Thanks for responding.

Ok, so I stole the infamous line from Donny Deutsch himself, but there REALLY has to be a better way to...food shop.

I just can't bear it. In this modern day and age, where time is so limited, who has the patience to get to the supermarket, traipse up and down aisle after aisle, picking and choosing your products (step 1). Trying to place them just so in your cart to make the most of the space one has (forget it if you have one or more children with you!) (step 2). Finally after an hour or so picking the food and items out, placing them in the cart, we now have to load it onto that dirty and yucky belt (step 3). Watching as each item is scanned appropriately through the electric scanner. Ugh...I have so much produce, which adds another 5 minutes onto the process. Finding the sticker with the code. Right, it's not there on most. So the high schooler needs to thumb through the book to find the proper barcode information.
I try and watch the dollar amount on the screen, because I know they are screwing me out of some type of sale that they've advertised. But I simply can't do that because I want to pack my bags, because if I don't than you know they'll either be too heavy or not heavy enough so that unpacking at the house is even more torturous.

The scanning is all done. Step 4...Now the hurry up and pack the rest of the item phase comes in. The scanner person starts trying to help me finish the bags, but with my OCD issues, I simply can't have it. She's messing up my whole process.

I pay the girl, of course an inordinate amount of money since everything in the economy is out of control. Pack the bags way above and beyond the means of the cart and start pushing to my car. 
KEEP READING

I have a 6 year old son who is on a travel hockey team. (yes, travel ice hockey - i do realize this is ridiculous)  Anyhow, this time of year they have try-outs for next season. The hockey career of our son is basically my husbands responsibility. The 3 times a week practices and the one game a week or weekend tournaments are all his work. Of course my 3 year old daughter and I go to the tournaments and some games, but the drudgery of the practices - changing in and out of the equipment etc, are all his deal.

Anyhow, tonight we go to the try-outs. It's a 3 night long event and this was the 3rd night. There are approximately 40 kids trying out for 3 teams. Mostly all the children make a team, it simply depends on whether it's an A-B-or C team.

So I'm in the stands watching my son and internally beaming with pride. He is really good - come on - he's six! The other parents' pride and passion, NOT so internal.

'Shoot the puck'

'Jason, what are you doing?!'

'Take the body'

'Pass it'

'Go - Go - Go Eric, SKATE!'

I don't understand this. First off, it's a try-out - NOT a game. and secondly, my goodness, they are 6, 7, and 8 year old children on the ice. Let them play and have fun.

So this was not the only disturbing situation of the evening...

While out with a few girlfriends last week, we noticed many men and women at the bar. It was 6pm. Obviously, happy hour after work. Honestly, it was a fluke that we were all out together at that time, but it was something that we had planned for some time. Actually, it got us thinking. Within this circle of my friends, we ran the gamut as far as mom 'type'. A few are full-time working moms, one part-time working mom, 2 business owners, and 2 'stay-at-home' moms.  As we started to talk about everything, including the challenges within our Hybrid Mom lives - as we often do, we came up with Hybrid Mom Happy Hour. What a great idea?! Why can't we get 1/2 priced drinks? We simply can't get to the bars and restaurants at 6pm any night of the week. Who will take care of the kids? Doesn't quite make sense to get a babysitter for that - well, at least not every week.  So, after that discussion I called a business relationship that we have in our community. This gentleman owns 12 Ruby Tuesday's in New York. Linda and I proposed the idea to him and he absolutely loved it.  Why am I writing this? Well, I want to hear from iVillage readers. Would you and your friends love a night out? Would you go to Hybrid Mom Happy Hour at a Ruby Tuesday's? It probably would be a Wednesday night from 8pm (after the kiddies are down and the hubby is home) to 11pm. 1/2 priced drinks plus a fun special Hybrid Momtini!!  Now, that sounds like a fun night out! Don't we deserve it?

I would just like to hear your feelings and thoughts and of course any feedback or ideas. Thanks for providing me with a platform enabling me to hear from the great iVillage readers! I look forward to hearing your comments. THANKS!
 

Yesterday was my typical Monday. I drop my daughter at her 2 1/2 hour pre-school day and since we live 20 minutes away, I visit my local Panera for that free wi-fi and some fabulous coffee. It is my office away from home. Love it (and this is NOT a sponsored endorsement!)

I set up the laptop and start working. I was having a conversation on my cell phone with our investors.  After about 20 minutes of some serious discussions, I look up and around at the other patrons. There were 7 women between the ages of 30-40 - I'd say - ALL with their laptops and cell phones/blackberry's on the table. This was all before 11am. It does amaze me where we have come. Forget technology and the ability for us to truly be productive and mobile beings, but the fact that we - Hybrid Moms - have these options and opportunities to work, live and play on our own terms. Awesome really. 
(keep reading - there's more)

Hi. This is Linda, Stacey's partner in crime. Since she had posted her experience with the PTA, I felt it would be appropriate to post my experience with my son's cub scout group...

Since when is a low grade fever like the plague?

 

My seven year woke up the other day with a head ache and a 101 degree fever.  I obviously kept him home from school and I did my best to get Motrin in him every 4-6 hours and keep him hydrated while having my 5 year old steer clear of the whole situation.  No need to have a full blown epidemic in the house.

 

It happened to be the day of his den meeting for Tiger Scouts later that afternoon.  Now I have to preface this by saying that Scouting was supposed to be something that my son and his Dad did together.  However, our den leader makes the meetings on Thursdays at 4:30 in the afternoon when my husband is still at work as are the other dads.  So, not only did Scouting end up on my plate (do you feel the bitterness?) but the den leader is totally hard core.  She takes her role very seriously and we have a bit of tension between us stemming from a bout as co-class mothers from Kindergarten the year before.  She took that role just as serious and again, we’re talking Kindergarten.  Whether you show up with Munchkins or home made gourmet cupcakes, your child is thrilled just to have their mom in the class that day.  I’m not knocking her dedication or her commitment here, I just feel that we’re talking first grade and Tiger Scouts and if my son is not in his full uniform for each den meeting (she actually checks for the blue socks) that the world is not going to end.

If you haven't read my last posting about my trials and tribulations in the elementary school PTA - you'll need to read it first - click here - because this entry won't be nearly as funny until you read that one!

So here is the update...After the whole advertising debacle, this was the PTA President's email to me:

PTA President: "Sorry for the Monkey wrench on the ads.  I see your true entrepreneurial spirit is in there and hate to dash it, perhaps you would consider getting involved in pasta night next year -maybe a journal would be a nice touch!!  Thanks again for taking this task on!!"

Yes, I too had to re-read it a few times for it to sink in. That 2 line email has many ridiculous statements in it.
Let's discuss the 'journal' idea for next year. WHY is that any different than selling ad space in the newsletter?! and 2) what - get involved in Pasta Night next year! - um...NO-Piranha... NO! This is what gives PTAs a bad wrap. They just suck you in and make you regret volunteering.

Continue on reading to see the next few correspondence's between the two of us....

So, my big guy is in Kindergarten. Now, this is obviously my first experience in 'real' public school - so I did what many virgin moms within the public school system do, attend that first PTA meeting back in September. I'm sitting there listening to this year's committee and seeing the seriousness of it all. I start to look around thinking to myself - am I the only one who thinks this is ridiculous? Don't get me wrong...I understand the importance of parental involvement in the school system and I do not minimize the work that goes into it, but there is no reason that it needs to all be this serious. The voting is what pushed me over the edge. We had to vote in favor or opposition of the newly appointed treasurer. "All in favor...say I". Everyone (including me said I) no one said 'ney'. Who would say 'ney'. Why would you say 'ney'. Geez. It was all too silly for me.

Then it comes time to start divvying up the committee chairs for the upcoming year. I tried. I really did try to hide. It simply didn't work. The piranha’s got me.

"Stacey Smith, don't you run a magazine?"

Me: "Um, yes."

PTA Pres: "Well then wouldn't you do wonders with our school Newsletter! Why don't you take that and run with it."

Me: "Sure."

Like many of you, I'm a busy mom with young kids, just trying to get through the day without going crazy.  With the little ones in your life there are an inordinate amount of stages that we need to conquer. Whether it's the newborn stage...'Only a few more months and then I'll get some sleep again.', the toddler tantrum stage...'I understand it's their only way to communicate and let us know how they are feeling - but gosh it's purely draining', the preschool separation phase - the 'aw how cute they love me so much that they don't want me to leave feeling only lasts for so long' stage, the Kindergarten and school bus anxieties - mine and theirs, all can take quite the toll.

I have found myself during all of these stages and experiences, telling myself - if i can just get through this, there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel.  Well, I believe I came to an epiphany last night while at the pizza place with my daughter. Sitting in the booth together, I watched her eat the bite-sized pizza pieces (even though she screeched "I want to eat it big!" AFTER I cut it all up), and felt, dare I say it...happy.  How adorable she was eating those pieces and enjoying whatever conversation we could have at this age.

How do you do it all? That is the number one question presented to us every day from other aspiring mompreneurs. I’m certain it’s a rhetorical question. There is no way anyone can do it all. I try but when you are running your own business and managing children, a husband and a household – something has to give. Sacrifices need to be made.

Yesterday’s sacrifice was a typical one…dinner.

Upon waking up I realize that it’s been a week since my last trip to the supermarket. Don’t forget to defrost the chicken, I tell myself.

Get out of bed and ready for the day – this means brushing my teeth, putting on clothes and throwing the hair up in a clip. Again, it’s all about sacrifice.

Moving on...get the 1 ½ year old out of her crib while the 4 ½ year old prepares himself for his day. The outfit is a green shirt with maroon sweatpants. Have to pick your battles, right?  Have to get moving for the drive to preschool followed by the 9:30 kickboxing class then back to the home office for a few hours of productive ‘work’ while the little one naps.  It’s too late to make breakfast so it’s the drive thru of Dunkin Donuts - again. There’s nothing wrong with throwing 2 egg and cheese croissants back into the 2nd row of a minivan, right? What’s a few more crumbs?

Kiss goodbye at preschool. Get to the gym and luckily the little one is happy today in the babysitting service – sorry - her playdate (shhh it makes me feel better)!